bad day...

2:47 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
i think i really had a bad day today... and i really hate myself today.. diz afternoon, i cried coz im unable to understand a single thing in my A maths lesson.. and also, im kinda dissapointed wif my A maths result but considered lucky coz i passed... den after skool, i went to geylang east old folks home... den on the way home, in a bus, i start to hate myself bcoz i got jealous... i even feel like crying in the bus... but i hold myself back... after returning my camera and i wait for my frens to go home together... i suddenly recall wat happen to mii today... and i really hate myself... i got jealous... i shouldnt feel tat way at the first place... tat's y i really hate myself... i avoid all calls and smses since den... i even went online kinda late... i juz need peace to myself... i was searching for myself... but today, i had a deep tok wif arif... he able to comfort mii down... everything he tell mii make sense but i juz unable to apply it... i juz have a hard time applying it... am i running away from the truth??? im really dissapointed wif myself.. first thing, i shouldnt be jealous, i shouldnt control other ppl's life... i dunno... im juz confused and also sick toking bout it... i had told myself to stop thinking of him... and i even tot tat im fine... and i juz wanna start everything afresh... den suddenly, my heart hurts wen... u noe lah... tat's the moment i really felt jealous... it happen more than 1 time... and it will happen repeatedly... and now, im considerating of changing skool so tat i could get diz problem over... but it seems lilke im running away from my own problem... and tat is not mii... im suppose to overcome it wif all i could... i dunno... im juz too confused...

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