Jokes!

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i had some few jokes to share actually.. i was laughing all the way lar!

What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Answer : Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

What's the difference between a man and a parrot?
Answer : You can teach a parrot to talk nicely.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Answer : When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an
affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

A Boy wanted to have sex with his girlfriend. But she was refusing all the time. So he went to see his boyfriend and asked him what to do about it. His boyfriend had a brilliant plan. He said: "Next time you meet her under the tree behind your home. I will be up in the tree waiting for you. If she refuses again you ask God in the heaven whether you can have sex with her or not. And I will give the right answer to you and her."The days went by and one Saturday afternoon he met his girlfriend again. They both went to that tree and he asked her to have sex. She refused. So he said to her: "And, my dear, if I ask God in heaven, would you follow his advise?" "Yes, I would" she said. So he asked: "Father in heaven can I have sex with my girlfriend?" And the voice from heaven said: "OK my friend, go ahead!" And so they had sex the first time.But the boy asked his friend to do him this favour every week, and he did. But the last time when he asked God in heaven, the father answered: "My dear friend below, step aside and let your father in heaven have a go!"

A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

enuf for now la! haha.. i dun wan to have like jokes for the day... im actually dying doing words of the day, quote of the day and funny quote of the day! haha! =p

i didnt do anything much today.. im simply sat at home thinking how to solve my theatre production stuff.. im kinda in charge of somthing and i need to do some presentation or rather convinces them[the SECDC management] tat watever we are doing is running smoothly.. and if any problem comes, we have a solution to it.. also, im doing the background.. all the pictures seems to have no meanings... so im thinking of something different... well.. we shall see to it la...

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