LOVE & FEELINGS

well.. it has been a crazy week.. haiz.. so many things to do.. hahas..
i was so sad that i did pretty bad for my DERV presentation..
It is one of the few times that I actually stunned during presentation till the point that i still cant recall wat i'd said.. haiz.. forget bout it..

COTS presentation.. well.. okie la.. not so bad.. one of the few presentation where i ACTUALLY trying to memorise the script, apart from CMSK.. hahas.. my CMSK, currently, it had gone up.. thanks to the presentation i guess.. i really hope that my brochure helps.. but to think bout it, my brochure, the design is okie, but the words is like tesselated.. the aligning is off.. haiz.. sound not okie liao rite? hahas..

hahas.. i so long didnt update.. so this gonna be a long update..

FIRSTLY! i got new favourite band! - SS501! hahas.. i really like their songs... since deja vu.. hahas.. here's a peek on who they are!






















and they had recently release a mini-album.. hahas.. because of a song titled FIND, i was dying to buy the CD.. hahas! i had pre-order it at YESasia as it will only be released on the 30th! hahas.. see how KIASU i am especially wen i saw the word 'limited edition' hahas! i have to get a copy! so at the same time, i went to but other album by them also! woohoo! im so happie..
here's a peek on their album!
















one of their featured song - FIND - which i got addicted to it so much! here's a pict of them!


Kim Hyun Joong - SS501 Leader
















Kim Hyung Joon - SS501 Youngest
















Kim Kyu Jong - SS501 centre [my fav!]
















Park Jung Min - SS501 Sexy Charisma
















Heo Yeong Saeng - SS501 Prince
















actually the main reason why i like SS501 is because of this variety show called "We got married" where they have celebrities to became a make-real couple during recording.. the actual couple were andy-solbi, alex-shinae, crownJ-inYoung, hyungdon-saori... but at a point of time, alshin couple took a break due to alex new album and hyungri couple divorce coz cant stand each other.. so 2 new couple came in which is hwiJae-yeoJeong and hyunjoong-hwangbo to replace them... den another point of them, alshin couple came back after 2 months.. and now there's 5 couples.. too little spent on one couple causing hwijeong couple to break off.. there's other reason probably.. but this is one of the reason.. so the current couple is alshin, anbi, Jyoung and joongbo couple.. SO, the reason was i fall for hyun joong in this series.. thus catching up wif SS501!!! =)))
here a shot of the couples..


from left - Jyeong, alshin, hwiyeong, anbi, joongbo
















must add picts bout my fav couple rite? hahas.. i think they look good together despite the 6 years age gap... and i personally felt that hwangbo is very pretty and have a very nice and good personality.. i hope to have a fren like her.. =)))



























































so now i got lots of fav korean band!
DBSK/TVXQ/THSK













HOT picts of yunho and micky! [random.. yeah..]




















Super Junior

















GOD














SS501















Shinhwa






















that will marks the end of korean updates.. =))

On sunday.. it's the final day, the funeral day, the cremation day..
I'm working at 2 thus i couldnt stay long.. i juz stayed till he left.. till it's really the final goodbye for mii..

the moment i enter the wake area, there's so many ppl.. i reach at 11.45am.. i juz stand at the back.. den suddenly, i saw the pictures that SU had put up.. i couldnt stop myself but cry..
all the picts were him and others.. he was smiling sweetly.. he was having a great time.. looking cool in his clothes.. i saw those picts.. wen i see Zilra pictures.. i cant stop crying too.. someone who is so close to us.. yet, he's gone..

i went nearer.. to see a better picture of the pictures.. den i saw few Zilra mates, GLs all mourning.. all i could do for them is console them, lend a shoulder, while deep inside, im crying out loud.. such a painful feeling..

den alot of them start offering incent.. i juz stood behind.. recalling those times.. those moments.. but wen it's time to see him for the last time.. ALL the student sang Temasek School Song.. wen all were singing, i cant stop crying.. all were singing in unison.. all were singing and crying.. wen i finally reach the coffin.. i said my FINAL goodbye and rest in peace.. and i finally cry out loud.. wen his mother thanked us for coming to see his son, said that we are brother and sisters and good frens to Clifton, i cry out loud too.. i juz couldnt control myself anymore..

den they do the ceremony, closing of coffin and finally the military ceremony.. I only witnessed the covering of coffin with the Singapore Flag, the sword(i think) and his wings.. den slowly, the carry the coffin to the van.. we followed him from the back till everyone boarded the bus..

while waiting for them to set off, i finally manage to share my tots wif some auntie that i dunno.. lols.. she was wondering who died la.. so yeah.. after tat, RUSHING TO WORK.. hahas..

The final goodbye is said.. i guess i've let go of everything.. will definitely remember him always.. will definitely miss him dearly.. Clifton Lam 1987 - 2008

yesterday, wen i heard the news...
only one drop of tears..
and for the rest of the day, i could only keep quiet..
wen i was at the funeral.. my heart beats so much.. no words could describe the feeling..

mii, gibson, larry and daryl were the first fews that came from skool..
i tot it was more practical to spent time there then to spent time travelling thus we took a cab there.. wen i reach, the 3 of them offer incent to him.. the moment i saw his picture, my heart tear into thousand pieces.. it's him in his graduation clothes.. in my tots, it keeps fighting.. is it really him.. with full confusion, i decided to see him..
when i look at him.. the first thing that pop in my mind is...
this is not clifton.. this cant be clifton..
clifton is someone lively, always smile...
but this clifton, down there, looks so innocent, peaceful and cold..
where is the clifton that i used to see.. is this really clifton..?

after tat, the four of us juz stand at the back.. having the same tots..
it is such a waste.. he's a talent.. he dun deserve it...
all this.. keep playing in our heads.. my feelings was mixed.. i couldnt cry either..
jus felt that im carrying a heavy heart.. heavy feeling.. heavy sigh...
wen others came crying to mii, i really wanna cry out loud.. but i juz cant..
the matter doesnt get any better.. i went to see him for again, to bid goodbye...

this morning, wen i read the newspaper, everywhere, it's his picture..
the more i read on, the more tears came rolling down..
every paper tat i read, tears flow like a river..
everytime i read it, i juz couldnt stop crying..
i still cant believe he is gone.. i still couldnt believe it...

im just his fren.. someone not so close to him.. but we were frens..
mii being his fren, i already felt so terrible..
how bout his family?? how bout his gf? they must be feeling 100x, no 1000x worst than wat i felt..
terence, who couldnt visit him on the first wake, he must be feeling terrible too..
exco member tat had work wif him, must felt terrible too..
my zilra GLs, my fellow zilraian's, we felt the same way..
we hug each other, we cry on each other..

but here i am... i just can wish u rest in peace.. live well in the other world..
i will say my final goodbye tmr.. if im not working, i would send u all the way to mandai..
but im sorrie.. i juz could be at the wake.. wishing u the final goodbye..
i think... it's time for mii to let go...
like wat one of my fren say...
we shud celebrate his life, nth else...
he has gone to a better world..
Goodbye, Clifton..

hey guys.. i know i didnt update my blog for quite some time..
but im just too sad right now..

Clifton Lam.. May u rest in peace..
U r my dearest FA who had never failed to recognise mii..
i still remember the last time we met..
u were smiling as always..
ur angelic smile, ur cute laughter, will never be forgotten...
may u rest in peace..

I just cant believe that u r gone.. .
When i saw the news on the paper, i just cant believe that it's u..
when i realise that it's u, no words can describe my feelings rite now..
i still cant believe it..

Perhaps, God loves u more than us..
Thus, he brought u back first..
Take care, Clifton...

*** for those who wants to visit Clifton, Please meet at the student lounge at 8.30pm.. Thanks

hahas.. lots of good things happen today.. hahas..

early in the morning, my brother keep cracking jokes la! bug mii early in the morning.. hahas.. den go to skool.. i go wif ardy.. although we r neighbours, we didnt get to meet each other often.. can u believe it, i meet him after soo many months.. so many things had happen to him and yet i noe noothing.. hahas.. the bus ride was a good catching up wif each other...

i heard a sad news though... bout kaiwen's father.. although it might be a bit too late.. but i wish i could do something for him.. but i guess it's really too late.. i dunno y.. i kept thinking bout it.. i cry at times.. but yeah... y isnt he contacting us? i really dun understand..

den wen gg home, i saw benjamin komez.. hahas.. was toking to him then i MET SOBIR! lols.. soo long didnt see him also.. hahas! i was stunned or dumbfounded by his blue braces! LOLS! hahas.. even wen im thinking of it now, i would laugh.. too cute.. hahas.. if he didnt call mii juz now, i wouldnt realise tat i passed by him.. and if i didnt meet him earlier, i wudnt be toking to him onthe msn now! lols.. catching up wif each other.. he is as usual.. irritating.. some ppl really dun change huh?! lols.. and he suggested tat we shud organise a gathering.. hahas.. juz thinking of it makes mii excited.. hahas.. i really love E4Commitment.. best class ever..

so im super high now.. still toking to sobir.. hahas.. okie.. tat's all for now..

saturday!
due to some family emergency, i didnt go for the sentosa outing.. it's my grandma.. okie.. so i was kept busy at the hospital the whole weekend.. even now..

monday!
it's CASH day.. so yeah.. boring.. lols.. for lecture, i sat wif pheiyani.. den for lab, one hour we spent at the Reuters lab.. seriously, it's very dry.. i dunno why la.. i feel sleepy... den we went to the main lab.. we did nothing much..

after tat, i went to meet phei... we waited for johannes.. den go home!

tuesday aka today!
CMSK4 was okie.. den got 1 hr break only! after tat we have 6 hours of BIS and COTS lab... but i think quite slack.. just heavy for the first hour coz of ttl.. den OTOT.. im slightly worried for my BIS.. coz i scared i choose wrong company den die liao.. so now, im reading on 2 case study... im still deciding whether i wanna do Disneyland Resort Paris or IBM... haiz.. first time im so worried for my assignment.. lols.. den for COTS, we juz read the case study earlier.. den i think it's almost like SAS la.. the cover page, the group project.. haiz.. lols.. den this time, the group must be in 5566.. so i tot my group will take 5 lor.. coz, my first impression was like, who wans to be in our group.. im surprised that valerie and ailan volunteered to be wif us..

but i overheard some few ppl words la.. i dunno.. is my clique or group tat bad? it's like.. someone said, y u wanna be in tat grp and so on.. tat bad meh? till the point tat we have to be 4 all the time.. frankly, the sentence does hurt mii.. but i juz cant believe it la.. haiz.. just hope nothing will happen la.. i really dun mind who do wif mii.. i juz dun wan any internal conflicts.. tat's all.. i mean tat's wat i fear.. this kind of things are bound to happen.. but then again, watever... really unbelievable.. i didnt expect some ppl to say until like tat.. SIGH SIGH SIGH!

den went to meet my freshie! they did SAS.. and while they doing, i do my things.. although we tok and laugh alot.. i feel guilty.. and im so scared i give them wrong info for the projects.. the things is we doing diff case study wat.. hahas.. but i think they r more hardworking than us.. lols.. and i cant believe tat BORIS is in super band.. lols.. drummer some more.. ROCKER la u! lols

waited and still waiting for pheiyani right now.. i think she will take damn long la.. latest till 8.30.. hahas.. den go home! lols.. im super hungry.. but yeah.. go home den eat.. i wanna eat KIMCHI noodle.. wanna cook spaghetti but i didnt buy any chicken.. i have my spag, sauces and mushroom waiting for mii.. no meat only.. lols.. one day must really cook.. i miss my cooking... lols..

oh ya.. gloria likes LIXING! lalala.. and yiren?? really meh?? or izit EUGENE? lols.. scandal everywhere! almmost everyone say yi ren is cute.. not bad ar.. but i think some1 else cute lei.. lols.. dun wan to say who.. hehes..

and ya! i got a call from KBCC again.. for netball competition.. lols.. i gain weight liao lei.. hahas.. i join coz of pei shan! hahas.. my good fren.. and got someone from my block, live above mii, older than mii name Faradilla? lols.. who sia.. i noe got fara in my block but she younger than mii ma.. tat's faizalulla's sister btw.. lol.. i dun like her lei.. and oh shit.. their name is alike lei.. i think it's her! OMG!!! this is not good.. but this is so interesting.. i got new fren(maybe) from my own block! lols.. the lady even gave mii her unit number.. lols.. im not stalker lei! lols..

tat's all for now.. got time, i'll update again..

Wednesday!
walau.. i overslept! hahas.. i woke up at 9am and which is my first lecture.. so i missed BIS.. den reach skool about 10.30, which is halfway through CASH lecture.. so decided to skip too.. den straight go have breakfast wif my C210.. wow! i was so amazed... the whole class was there.. hahas! so cool! so we ate at design coz they dun like IITAS... hahas.. i sat wif jin feng and eugene.. den wee you join the last seat.. hahas.. i seriously like eugene shoes.. hahas.. i wouldnt realise it till he spilled his ice tea.. hahas.. chaat chat chat.. den still got extra time, i tot of showign them the library but BAD timing.. time left like 10 mins.. hahas.. so i went to accompany some gals to printing shop.. while the others pangsey us.. hahas.. den i rush for CASH tut.. hahas.. some IDIOT go and tell chinchai i didnt attend lecture.. u wait ar! revenge is SWEET!! hahas.. timetable sux, we got one hr break after tat... and then go for FOI lecture.. hahas.. my brain cells gone liao.. so many things to absorb.. time was short.. she was like trying to finish 12 page of lecture in 2 hrs.. NAH!!! some more i was pissed off bout the make up lesson... but now, i think she put in lots of effort to help us.. hahas... den yeah.. CASH tut again! y split the TUT? dumb lei! hahas.. den go tuition.. my brain cells dry out la.. i sleep early also.. i fall asleep while having mass convo.. lols.. so sorrie.. hehe

Thursday!
I GOT GO CASH LECTURE OKIE! hahas.. but yeah late.. sianx.. den i tot got APEL so i didnt bring lappie.. skali no APEL! so we go lab and slack... den NICK scares mii halfway wen i met him at levell 5.. they say got APEL.. i went into the room, i saw chinchai and the class.. wah.. i shock till wanna die liao la.. hahas.. den chinchai said no apel.. juz tat they got no place to go so he open the room for them.. hahas.. den went to lab again and print notes.. print notes, not enuf.. dumb la.. den go for combine CASH lab at LT 3 after tt FOI tut.. cool Reuters lab! hahas.. i love it la.. one monitor play youtube and the other see REUTERs stuff.. hahas.. seriously, damn fun.. hahas..

Friday aka TODAY!
went for ECONS tut.. 9am.. i came in.. i saw Jonathan.. so i sat beside him.. the tutor crap & crap & crap.. 9.25am - class dismissed den my classmates enter.. hahas.. so we stayed there for another 5 mins.. den go liao! so i had like 2 and half hour to slack.. hahas... so i went library to do my FOI tut.. den meet huanyi.. meet my C210.. hahas.. den slack at the locker there till 12.45pm.. den go for FOI tut.. rush like hell, 2.10 manage to escape juz to go ECONS lecture.. den ECONS lecture ends at 2.45pm.. wen back home and sleep.. woke up at 5pm just to meet chronosians.. but i went to pay bills first.. den take bus.. interesting thing happen in the bus.. the ahma left her grandsons in the bus.. hahas.. i even went to wake the boy up la.. den he like dun care... so i also cant be bothered... den reach tamp intc at 7.30 sharp! hahas.. den run to KFC and they cant be spotted... in the end they at mac, waiting for seat.. lols.. IN THE END, we ate KFC together wif some ITO freshie.. hahas.. new frens, sebastian, nicholas, harold, emmeline, alicia and samantha! hahas.. remember them clearly.. hahas..

got lots of time to slack, we went to soem place, sit at the stage and tok cock.. it was sian at first.. slowly, things r fun.. hahas.. LIVE mass CONVO.. lols.. den go home.. kena scolded by my mum for gg home late.. haiz.. it was only 12.03am la! sian.. my mum threatened to tell my dad liao.. tmr got sentosa outing some more.. dunno whether can escape anot.. lols.. coz tmr sure go home late again.. somemore, my C210 not gg sentosa la.. i damn sad la.. walau.. but i really hope they could join us for dinner.. den marcus spoiler.. say bout tmr soccer match.. i also noe la.. especially wen it's manu.. hahas.. but yeah.. dun pangsey mii lei.. i damn sad lei.. haiz..

den heard there's komez ice skating tmr.. really ar? y i dunno one? juz not lunch also... how come i dunno.. i close one eye coz i got lecture tat time.. but ice skating lei? walau.. den tmr i got sentosa trip.. i pangsey u ppl liao la.. haiz.. y things always last minute one? i damn sian liao la.. damn sad.. haiz..

dun care liao la.. i go sleep.. nitez!

lols.. it's like i spend lots of my time today printing notes.. hahas.. it's like there's so many notes.. i fear i wun have time to priint - which is always the case.. hahas.. so mii and my gals keep printing and printing.. and chow was nice enuf to bind for mii.. hahas.. we finish up all papers and yet still not enuf.. so we end up buying the expensive paper at the printing shop.. hahas..

so how's the day huh? well..
CMSK4 - we got the same teach as last sem.. the teacher taught us for few weeks den change to sandra wong.. yeah.. tat one.. hahas.. she's fun to begin wif.. but she can get super serious wen i gets to work.. hahas.. afterall, i think i had a fun lesson wif her today..

lunch - i share tom yam wif chow.. hahas... im not suppose to eat spicy at the first place.. hahas.. and waffle! yummy! had my fav chocolate waffle.. hehes..

BIS - super dry! our tutor went on and on and on bout the subject.. till i got bore.. and yeah.. im a bad senior.. i went to watch video.. hahas.. after tat, at the second hour, she asked us to do research.. haiz.. so boring.. den the third hour, i went printing.. hehes..

COTS - the tutor looks okie lei.. yeah.. hahas.. i did my ttl! hahas.. first time.. lols not.. so yeah.. wasted some time.. den went printing again! haiz.. while waiting for my freshie.. i tot im meeting gloria only.. suddenly, huazhen, xiaoyue, yvonne, priscilla, cindy, stacy, elson, lixing and EUGENE was there.. i dunno who else la.. sorrie if i didnt mention.. hahas.. i had lots of fun wif them.. i stress again! i love c210! hahas.. they r great and funny freshies.. and tat eugene keeps saying im a bad senior.. haiz.. im so heartbroken.. lols.. someone dun get jealous ar.. hahas..
but seriously.. am i really tat bad senior? it makes mii wonder.. lols..

so i went on talking to them till they finish printing.. den now im slacking at lib(cant believe it) till 7pm den go for komez dinner.. hahas.. first time entering library(this sem).. i dunno la..

and yeah! my dear c210, please eat together wif mii at 11am lei! dun eat at 10am coz i got COTS lecture! hahas.. wait for mii! and please.. i really hope u guys could go for the sentosa outing.. i wanna show u guys to my chronosians.. hahas.. if not, i very sad lei.. hahas..

shall we have a c210 dinner some time? hahs.. i really love to see u guys.. hahas.. arent i a nice senior? lols..

it's like the first day of school.. it was slightly lame to go skool for 2 hrs of lecture.. oh well.. but wah.. COTS was damn fast.. i was slightly pissed but yeah.. who cares.. it's the first day of lesson.. den CASH.. y am i still thinking of CORE? hahas.. okok.. CASH is like CORE.. haiz.. i guess, i'll always be haunted by this subjects.. hahas..

so went to print notes after tat.. i saw mardiana and quraisha was lost to look for grace yap SAS lesson.. so i bring them there and saw my C210! hahas.. so decided to mass convo wif them.. my first attempt failed coz not many online.. den, another mass convo came about.. was slightly better wif the aid of wee you and ran.. coz they tok bout games! hahas..

den right after C210 mass convo, i had chronos mass convo.. i think everyone damn tired.. so didnt tok much.. can we have chronos dinner?! hahas.. tat rings the bell.. tmr i got komez dinner.. hahas..
im so loving mass convo.. hahas..

tmr got lesson.. wah.. im so dun understand the timetable.. y put derv wen it starts at week 11? den lots of push and pull lesson.. i dunno wen is wen and wat is wat liao.. haiz.. irritating.. i'll just be a blur queen for this week.. hahas..

will meet some c210 peeps tmr at 5pm to teach them few things like printing notes.. i guess they need to learn this part.. coz if not, they will be wasting money..

oh ya.. after printing ntoes, i went to eat wif phei.. hahas.. arnold.. yumyum! im like coughing and still eat this kind of things.. yeah., yeah.. it got worst.. den wen to parkway wif her.. our main objective was to buy the FBT shirt.. at last.. didnt buy... wasted effort.. at last, we waste time.. hahas.. reach home.. tok to my mummy.. hahas.. den ntohing much lor.. i was on msn all the time.. hahas.. so fun! i cant wait for Jason to send mii the picts at Vivo.. i took lots of picts la.. hahas.. but his camera.. hehes..

so i'll be sleeping now.. muacks.. sweet dreams..

wah.. seriously.. i love C210! hahas.. i think becoz i really put in lots of effort.. tat's y.. i dun regret anything.. i like one guy from this class... hahas.. consider him my eye candy la.. hahas.. he damn cute in this pict also.. hehes.. i noe all of their names.. but too long to list down.. there's 22 students! so lucky... 11 guys and 11 gals.. too fair.. hahas..


Day 1
super dry! all the time we sat at LT except for lunch, dinner and mass dance.. hahas.. during the mass dance, i partner wif boris.. tat's how i got to noe him closer.. hahas.. nightwalk was the best ar.. 9 ppl only and im the only OL following them.. hehes.. i had lots of fun scaring them man.. especially the gals.. hahas.. damn rocking.. and seriously, i was dead tired on tat day.. den still got briefing.. haiz.. i doze off 3 times.. and was caught by Darren on the second time.. hahas.. it was embarassing.. but even after tat, i still doze off.. i seriously cant control myself.. hahas..

Day 2
i was so glad coz C210 was hyper than day 1.. and a lil more bonded.. hahas.. it was great la.. hahas.. had lots of fun.. had dinner wif other freshies.. hahas.. i think ITO.. dunno la.. my CHRONOS mate freshies.. hehe.. they r fun too! hahas..i got WET! at astro turf.. i was so proud wen i say let us all get wet.. hahas.. and they really willign to get wet.. great job to C210! love them.. den showering.. hahas! i shower alone! i was damn scared tat on MUSIC loud loud.. hahas.. the moment i step out, den ppl start entering the cubicle.. so sway.. haiz.. den i slept at 2am coz i went to do the letter to freshies.. hahas.. had lot of trouble at first.. but it turn out alrite.. hahas..

Day 3
wah.. i couldnt sleep.. so I emo early in the morning.. den saw jiabao.. he said he was having bad sore throat.. hahas.. so i gave him my pei pa kao syrup and strepsils.. hahas.. CHRONOSians must take care of each other.. hahas.. den, yvonne was early.. so i tok to her.. hahas.. there's some who are really older than mii.. hehes.. so cool rite.. olympiad - same tots as last year... so i shall not say.. regatta.. damn sad - gals senior fot last! but the guys make us proud! they got 2nd! WHO SAY WE NEVER WIN ANYTHING?! i think i shud recommend eugene.. coz i saw him introducing himself to someone he dunno.. good job! he did well in dressing up also.. as in the mr/ms universe.. hahas.. late at night, had long chat wif the chronosians.. hahas.. i owe ivan 5 buck on cab fare! hahas.. thank god he lives near mii.. if not, i no money take cab.. hahas...

sat
got sentosa outing.. but im sick.. so i went to see doctor.. hahas.. doctor told mii go hospital check up further... haiz.. hate this kind of thing.. lols.. den at nite, i join my komez peeps at vivo.. was fun.. but sad, my voice.. haiz.. i really love komez! of course, chronos too!

sun
go hospital.. check up.. result not out.. so dun care.. den wen to visit my ah ma at hospital.. den do tuition.. den home! hahas..

tmr skool.. cant believe it tat im year 2 now.. time fly really fast.. haiz.. new chapter liao.. so must jia you! and yeah.. i got econs for CDS.. and same class as alvin.. thanked god got someone same class as mii.. i was like damn sian wen i see almost no one same class as mii.. and yeah.. pheiyani got econs too and same class as nicholas..

now having mass convo wif chronos.. so see u!