5:30 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
for the past few days...weeks or months...
i perhaps had forgotten what's the meaning of crying...
i've been living a carefree lifestyle.. happy lifestyle..

but once i'm reminded again..
the pain is greater than usual..
crying in silence... tears overflow like there's no tmr..
just a simple tots could make mii cry in an instant..


8:07 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
haiz.. there are some things that keep bothering my mind..
few months back.. i promised myself that i would gather all the courage i had...
and tell him everything on tat day.. on the day we met... but in the end..
things turn out different.. i totally couldnt do it.. i totally cant..
where has my courage gone to?! i hate myself..

and then.. wen i think back on that day..
i keep wondering to myself.. why didnt i do it?
why did i do things that is soooooooooooooo redundant and useless..
i could have used the opportunity to say it all..
why why why? i feel sooo freaking useless.. i feel like a total loser..
tat day was the only day.. i could do it.. whyyyyy didnt i do it?
it was a hard opportunity to come by.. i dunno when would tat chance ever come back!!
so whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

in the end.. i believe for self comfort.. i told myself..
i prefer the current now.. i just couldnt take the risk.. and keep thinking of the worst..
right now i could say i would do it if i were to be given another chance.. but then..
i still believe i wouldnt dare to do it.. coz.. im just a loser..
who just cant tell him everything in my mind.. maybe.. i should have not even think about it..
i'm a fucking sore loser.. haiz..