30 nov

4:03 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
hahas.. yesterday, after updating my blog, i went out to eat swensen.. hahas.. midnight swensen at orchard.. wif my bro and sis in law.. it's interesting.. i dun really like to travel during midnight, but nowadays, i've been going out late.. so we went to swensen to eat and eat and eat.. we ate alot.. hahas.. like mii, i had black pepper pasta with side dishes like calamari rings, fries and rodeo wings.. hahas.. the actual plan of it is tat we wanna eat the fondue.. but dun have.. so sad.. so eat wat's there la.. which is like not much.. den i had banana split.. hahas.. den the shocking part was wen the birthday cake come in.. paisey.. my b'day is next week but it's becoz my bro and sis in law is travelling away, they celebrate now lor.. hahas.. it was really a surprise.. hahas.. but sad, only the 3 of us.. the more the better rite? like my mum along? since she's leavign 2 days after my bday.. so i had a b'day in advance celebrated by them.. hahas.. i'm so full that i dun wan to eat today.. hahas..

i seriously havent eaten anything today.. early morning woke up and buy breakfast for my dad and then went to lesson.. got one hour break, i wen to do my BFA tut.. i was a lil scared coz i dun understand a thing.. but then, heng ar... my tutor explain everything again today and went thru the answer together.. i think im liking my tutor liao.. hahas.. she's nice.. she had never checked whether we did the tut anot.. which i think it's not a good thing but an advantage for mii.. hahas.. and she tends to recall on the works for us.. we will always discuss the answer together.. hahas.. she's like tan bing.. and we always end early.. at least 30 mins earlier.. hahas.. so always end up having break before going for TPSU duty.. but im not going today.. coz i wanna do my JAP! i did this mornign ar.. den i didnt print.. i wanna show my tutor but it seems messy.. so i end up not showing.. so now i have to depend on my luck to perform next week.. also, i can ask chu hui for help.. i think she did well in the first draft.. y did i end up getting a diff topic.. Bon Odori... until now i dun understand much bout it.. it's juz like Hungry Ghost Festival.. and wat more fun is that, there's no single book in the library that has this topic.. im 100% relyign on internet now.. later my sources of research will be full of links..

later got Latin Preview.. walau.. i didnt got for the prac on tues coz i dunno.. den on wed, wen i wanted to come, there's no practice.. but juz nice, FBI immersion Prog fill up the gap.. den on thurs, i didnt noe there's practice u NOE! and again bambang called and ask mii whether im coming.. no choice, i had to give excuse.. wat the.. i feel bad for not coming twice in the row la.. BUT PLS tell mii earlier! it's always tat i've reached home den they asked.. basket sia.. but today, i noe gt preview, so im like staying back in skool to attend the preview.. seriously, im sort of pissed la.. they need a better communication method man! no 1 bother to tell mii.. den pheiyani wun noe also rite! den might as well dun be involve.. haiz.. at this point of time, i really feel like quiting.. but im not tat kind of person la.. shall stay committed till i cant take it anymore.. one thing for them also, they better start training more students to the latin band.. coz.. only mii and phei freshie! and the 2 of us are specialised in percussion.. we cant play mallet or bass guitar in day! mallet mayb can but not mallet and piano la.. i cant.. haiz.. although i wanted to learn and take music exams, i dun have the confidence.. since it's not compulsory either.. i now damien had been wanting mii to take it since i leave sec sch, but i juz too scared la.. waste money also.. and music is not my future.. definitely..

another sad thing is that phei lost her hp.. i dunno how i can contact her today.. we might need to report early sia.. since we hadnt practice a single thing.. i guess im like gona jam all the way.. haiz.. i dun even have scores okie.. haiz.. im juz so stress today..

and my pimple is getting worst today.. looks so ugly la.. walau.. wherever i think bout it ar.. i feel like slappig myself.. hahas.. y pimple must come out! stress stress stress..

den i shall chil down now.. and im going out tmr.. and settle the CIP thingy.. haiz.. i dunno wat date to set for the trip.. haiz.. and report need to be handed in by next week? im not sure.. tat's wat val says... but how come jerry ang offer christmas? wah.. this is confusing.. see la.. i got so many things to do... time management is getting out of my hand.. at time like this, I WANNA EAT!!

AND SHIT! i got preview today and I FORGOT THAT I PROMISE MY MUM TO ACCOMPANY HER TO SEE DOCTOR! f***! i juz remmeber! shit.. damn.. i dunno wat to do now... pangsey the preview and meet my mum? if i pangsey my mum, im sure she wun tok to mii for days.. argh! i need to set priority.. my mum or preview? damn.. if i go and accompany my mum, I'VE wasted time waiting! HEADACHE!

need to settle stuff now...

29 Nov

9:48 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
FBI Immersion Programme

hmmm... wat can i say.. hahas... firstly, im deadly embarassed when my frens saw mii in super formal attire standing really straight at the entrance of the auditorium.. all thx to the director that can slightly later than the rest.. hahas.. argh! so embarassing.. hahas.. this is my first time being a PaceSetter... hahas.. im still learning.. seriously, i think Benny is a great guy... he doesnt juz speaks well, but he also entertain guest well enuf for mii to learn.. he very sensitive to other ppl's feelings too.. he's too cool.. and i heard he pretty smart too.. hahas.. thx to him that i learn alot.. one of the example is when the guest were at the reception.. hahas.. the speakers were talking and talking wif the IIT director... and the four of us, mii, benny, shen yang and uyangga were standing behind the director while they were chatting.. and i felt super lie bodyguards.. however, wen i see benny standing there with the confident and yet friendly look, i tot we are doing the right thing.. and the guest were impressed by us.. some other incident was the helping the BOs ppl clear their stuff and also he remind us to offer to escort the guest to their cars.. i mean, if it were to be mii, i would think until so far.. he juz think super fast... hahas.. i envy him.. and ic ant see that he work hard for this prog.. coz i receive the guest bio email at 3.10am! hahas.. i was like snoring by then.. hahas.. i learn some other few things from the guest speaker also.. other things like i really one of the speakers, Ms Eunice Lim.. she's just so natural wen she talks to us.. just like we are her frens like that.. coz wen we approached her.. we didnt noe whether she was really the guest speaker.. but then wen we approach her and confirm whether she was one of the guests, she said sth in super cute way - "hello! im here to listen to the talks. im a student.. hahas!" she's just too funny.. hahas.. finally, i've talked to the IIT director.. she's nice.. super nice.. she's quite open minded and quite concern bout the wellness of her student.. so she's fine.. a down to earth lady.. cool... hahas.. the whole prog was okie.. just that there were so many last min changes that i could catch up wif.. but overall, it's fun! thx my fren for coming despite being forced by mii.. hahas.. my primary school fren came.. and she waited for mii to go back together.. we r best frens afterall.. hahas..

thx to this prog also, i got closer to the C185 peeps.. the guys.. i dun really blend wif the gals.. i dunno why also... the guys seems more approaching such as Ernie, Toby, Melvin, alex and this another guy whom until now i dunno his name.. he is the same guy that was super friendly to mii yesterday.. cool guys.. thx for the help at the end of the prog(carry tables and clear rubbish) the ambassadors(the 4 pacesetter) wanted to clean things but Ms Yohanna(im gonna call ms joanna ms yo from now on... hahas.. ) said, u guys are just too smart.. dun do dun do.. hahas.. i think im like involve in this thing thx to ms lina, ms yo, mr toh and Mr ang.. im quite shock on y im in this.. but i think it's a good thing.. i tend to learn lots of things.. like attending to guests.. i didnt know we have to read thru their bios! hahas.. until yest.. it wasnt an easy task.. coz... if u get the one who sort of proud, starting a conversation wif them wun be an easy task! quite said my class and 184 didnt get to listen to the funny talk.. i was enjoying myself in the talk.. especially if u seated next to shen yang.. he juz couldnt sit still.. hahas..

i think tat's all.. i need to finish up my draft one of Jap presentation for tmr.. ohh ya.. im drop dead tired but had the most fun day of the sem! after i ate Shaky fries without drinks, i fall asleep on the bus.. and the moment i reach home, i sleep again! hahas! so now, i wun be sleeping for the night until i finish up my Jap and also do tut for BFA.. i realise that, everytime i didnt do tut, i tend to be called alot of times.. but good thing that i sit beside cheemeng, zy and melving.. they help lots.. haiz.. smart ppl.. must sit around them to be smart.. said by someone but definitely not mii.. haha..

28 nov

10:49 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Happie Birthday Amirah!

today is denver's b'day! celebrated during APEL lesson.. here are some photos taken from my phone! had apple and mango shrudder..

hahas... kk.. for the first time, after a long period of time, i went to OOPG lecture.. hahas.. Mr Michael is a funny and nice lecturer.. very helpful.. but sad thing is tat, he's not really good in speaking using the mic.. and of course, his slang.. but good to say he's helpful... it was so funny wen my classmate all rush out the moment Ms Jo briefing end.. but i felt bad for mr michael..

after lecture, received sms from ms jo to go audi 2... hahas.. waited for quite a long time for her.. den.. went to help out c185 peeps.. mainly alex, toby and i dunno the name of the other 3 guys... they are nice peeps.. mii, alex and toby talks like we noe each other.. hahas.. den suddenly, the whole C185 came down.. as wat alex said that time "HARIYANA! u r surrounded by 185!" very true.. coz im the only 183 there.. and my name is hariyani not hariyana.. dots!

y i was called to audi 2? basically bcoz.. im the ambassador for fbi.. better known as the PACEsetter for the talks(immersion prog).. so i LOA for QUAN lab.. need to report at 7am.. but i bargain from ms jo coz im coming wif my fren for the prog.. hahas.. so..7.30am! together wif shen yang, oyangga and benny.. benny is such a nice guy.. super concern over mii.. hahas.. tmr gonna be a long day..

tat's all for now.. im sleepy.. and hope to have a nice dream.. hehes..

27 nov (2)

6:51 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
heys... since i got free time in skool.. lesson ends at 5pm and i went to lab to print things.. after that, slack for awhile.. im a lil stress.. thx to CMSK.. i dun like her lei.. llike got attitude problem like tat.. haiz..

juz now, i went to hand in my LOA.. my fren ask mii wen im LOA-ing and what's the reason.. then i told them, next friday.. i can only LOA during BFA tut coz in the morning i have JAP presentation.. so no choice need to go in the morning.. den, wen i told them the reason, they all say "confirm not approved!" hahas.. den i was a lil scared.. lols.. coz, first thing, it is last minute! juz yesterday that they change the air tickets so i need to make new arrangement too.. sending LOA less than 2 weeks.. wat are the chances that it will get approved? hahas.. den, my reason is just like tat.. hahas.. it's the true reason and i dun think i wan to lie in the reason section.. so i wrote, im sending my mother off at the airport who is leaving to perform Haj(pilgrimage).. den i was thinking.. if it was mii, as a lecturer, to think properly, i may and may not approve it.. hahas.. but as i said in the previous post.. my mum is more important than skool.. im like not gonna see my mum for more than one month.. so i cant miss this opportunity of sending her off.. hahas..

den.. wat else.. hahas.. nth much today.. i went to wish alvin happie belated birthday.. im aiming for 12 midnight to wish Amirah Happie Birthday.. im sure she will be online tonight.. hahas.. im considering to wish Denver also.. since both b'day the same, might as well do the same thing.. he's a good classmate of mine.. although he looks cold and quiet, he's friendly and nice to tok too.. especially in msn... hahas..

cmsk.. the tot of tat subj today is killing mii! i dun like her.. big time.. wah.. she's like got attitude prob.. i dun feel 'up' in her class.. den wen we divide the class to teams of 3(mii, ronald and huanyi one team).. it was abit tough to split into teams at first.. as time flies, i can feel that im getting used to some few things.. hahas.. this is one of them.. hahas..

i dun feel that sad today.. despite some distance wif my classmates, i tok to some alot today.. i tok to sebast, val, sharon, wei choy and more la.. hmmm.. more opportunity to come.. simple things can really make mii happie..

saw the DBSK's stuff juz now.. thx to jasmine lim.. she was browsing yesasia.com den we saw the Asia Tour CD is out.. and also, we saw the AATVXQ special edition thingy.. hahas.. i wan both of them.. but got to say, both are above $50.. im squeezing my pocket money for the next month.. since i cant ask for extra money wen my mum in Mecca.. hahas.. but, good thing is that, i'll be back for tuitioning in january.. and i think it will be the last year also.. since my tuition student will be taking PSLE next year.. unless, they wan mii to teach them sec stuff.. which im not so confident of... while tuitioning ppl, i learn to take responsibility more seriously.. i mean.. if i cant tuition them, i might as well quit and dun destroy the kids further.. hahas.. tat rings the bell too.. thx to tuitioning, i dun have tat bad impression towards teaching afterall.. coz last time i used to claim, teaching is stressing and lame.. but wen i started tuitioning, things seems alot different.. i even once had a conversation wif my mum.. i guess my mum was a lil flabbergasted wen i told her i might wan to enter university.. den she was like.. U SO RICH AR? den i was telling her.. if i wan things, i will get things planned out properly.. at least the basic.. like.. if i dun have money, i'll take bank loans.. or i might be considering to study at night and work in the daylight.. something like tat.. one thing tat im sure of.. if i were to do this, i will be quiting lots of outside activities such as South East CDC, percussion group, stage management and all.. such a sacrifice... haiz.. i dunno wat to say.. den if im not entering Uni.. den i need to secure my job.. not easy.. if i failed in the financial industry.. i'll straight away go NIE and become primary skool teacher.. PRIMARY! not secondary.. y? coz secondary is much more stressful.. juz like my NETBALL team CAPTAIN says.. it's so fun.. hahas.. she's such a funny toot!

tmr need to come an hour earlier to play games.. sound fun but it's not! coz this game is an educational game that i need to learn for the FBI IMMERSION.. seriously.. this thing is such a rush.. and in my class, although we reach the target of 25 students, the no is decreasing instead of increasing.. this thing has really went out of my control.. and i seriously cant do anything bout it.. hahas..

APEL CIP.. im considering children's home.. ill be in charge i guess.. hahas.. im going for the home and ask for the procedure.. mayb tmr i go.. coz the APEL got the requirement to do CIP.. den 10 places had been reserved by Jolene to do the community service under IITSC.. i saw the event but cant make.. i cant even meet my bumbees on tat day.. sad sad.. i want to go lor.. lalalas.. i think i wil be taking the rest to the children's home den.. i wanted the old folks home actually.. coz, wen i went there, i was impressed by them.. they tell good stories.. and their conditions are really sad.. but my experience in the children's home is not tat good.. if very young, fun ar.. if got the one who is naughty and all.. wah.. dammit liao lor.. ahas.. i dunno who havent do the CIP yet but i'll juz ask for the whole class.. one for all, all for one remember? hhas.. im toking to myself..

kk.. im packing home liao.. after i finish my research.. i dun wan to stay in skool till 8pm... hahas.. kk.. tata!

27 NOV

2:48 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
it's nearly 3am and i juz cant sleep.. im still thinking over some few things.. infact.. alot of thing..

being frank, i was super happie that we reached the target.. but slowly, unexpected, the target is decreasing.. all my high expectation is like almost gone.. i dunno wat to say.. it needs 2 hands to clap.. i cant do things alone..

sometimes i dun feel that i actually exist in the class... do i need to be loud to be noticed? by saying this way, i may seem like some attention seeker.. but i dun think i am.. i juz dun feel the bondedness anymore.. a simple invitation makes a total difference... in my opinion i guess.. hmm.. this wed, it's denver's b'day.. i wonder is there any celebration.. it's possible to celebrate it during apel.. i hope my dreams are not crushed... i've been dreaming too much..

i always felt that shud juz leave things that.. i was sad that i wasnt invited for Alvin's b'day celebration.. at times, i would be reading my classmates blog and all.. and deep in my heart, i would say "i wish to be there too".. it's probably too awkward for mii to there already... do u guys still treat mii as ur fren.. sometimes, wen i think back, wat wrong had i really done? can something be done to resolve it.. sometime, i ask myself, who is the one who start everything... the blame falls on mii? i dunno.. am i really that pathetic? am i really that unlucky? am i really that bad that.. nvm... there's always a good thing behind something.. im adapting to this lifestyle.. right now, i juz wish to go back to secondary school life.. where everyone treat mii as one.. we are super bonded.. one for all, all for one.. where, at least, everyone treat mii as a fren.. i dun wish to suffer peer pressure again.. this had caused mii a great loss last sem.. at time like this, i wish to change course.. change skool... but i am myself... i dun change for other ppl.. i dunwan to be adapting to some random topic tat my frens love and i dunno bout.. im not a hypocrite.. but cant ppl accept mii for who i am..? a gal's heart is easily hurt... im a gal afterall.. im feeling it.. it's killing.. but im grateful towards jasmine lim, jasmine chow and huanyi.. at least, there's someone i can rely on..

birthday next week and i dun seem to be looking forward for it.. this is the first time that i am celebrating my bday in skool.. how about all december babies celebrate together? more bonded tat way.. wild wishes on my part...

my mum departure date to Haj is forwarded to the 7th today.. which means i need to skip my BFA tut.. it may feels abot sucky but i dun wan to miss sending my mum off.. she will be away for over a month.. hmmm.. my mum is more important than skool...

this year, i think im gonna make my b'day wish for my mum.. i mean she will require lots of energy while performing the haj.. i juz hope that she will stay healthy while down there... and came back in safely.. im gonna miss her alot...

amirah's b'day falls on wed.. MUST HAVE a gathering k! juz like last year.. and for any other year to come.. this is the only day that we could meet in a year.. seems pathetic but thankful coz at least there's a day in 365 days tat we met.. best friends forever...

still thinking bout the 딴's dream.. i've revealed who is he to huanyi and both jasmine.. my trustable fren.. this part is confidential.. since it will be in korean, i guess u guys wun understand.. 나는 너를 많게 좋아한다 그러나 너에 말하기 위하여 나는 위협된것을 보인다. 나가 가능하게 우리가 저것의거의 때 나는 너를 좋아하는 것과 말할 수 있는 까 라고 너의 생일에 오고 있다 시작하거든 나는 너에게 보유 나 돌아오는 무언가를 주기같이 느꼈다 그러나 이렇게 많은 것 있는다. 나의 감각이 너를 위해 살아날 수 있는 그러나 나가 생각하는 까 얼마나 나는 모른다 나가 나가 기적을 위해 지금 바라는 너에게 정직하기 위하여 가지 않으면 장시간을 걸릴 것 을.

나는 기적을 위해 지금 일어난것을 다만 바란다 - i just wish for a miracle to happen right now..
~naneun gijeoneur wihae jigeum ireonan geosor taman paranta~

24 nov

9:59 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
i just realise that it's been some time since i had actually updated my own blog.. and i think this happen all the time.. since today, i been thinking on some ridiculous thing, i juz need to vent it somewhere... and i guess, this is the place...

sem 2 had starting more than one month liao.. ever since the start of sem 2, i had been super busy... few activites that i had participated in; TP Arts Festival, Viva the Arts segment EAST MEET SOUTH.. i was under the latinos playing percussion.. this event was quite meaningful to mii.. i made more frens and get to know some closer... in specific, im toking more to the samba peeps.. they are all malay, but since my practice date is diff from them, i didnt get to communicate much wif them.. to add it on, i did not attend the samba camp.. which creates some distance between us... but yeah... it was a fun experience despite being vexed going back home late.. in Latin, got to know a TP band member called Jasmine.. she played the keyboard.. she's really nice.. we hit off well.. mayb bcoz we r freshie.. hahas.. den thru this event, i get to know some FBI peeps more.. in specific, it was wei yang and another guy(sorrie, forgot the name) who's from the Production Crew.. get closed wif some others too la.. but FBI peeps, wen they saw mii, they remember mii as "eh, FBI gal..." hahas..

STUDIES MATTERS.. hahas... new subjects, new lecturers, new style and new things to learn.. ahhas.. in addition of CDS.. i took 2 CDS.. y so greedy? hahas... i cant answer that... coz i dun even noe... i guess i was too excited.. hahas.. my CDS are Japanese and Accounting.. 2 heavy subject.. may god bless mii.. hahas..

been super busy wif tut work, projects, research, presentation and many more.. poly life.. we revolve more than books.. activities representing our diplomas do counts.. for example, i participated in some running event yesterday.. i was CONNED! i did not know it was a competition.. i tot it was some running event where i could afford to WALK.. hahas.. but it was really great ar.. the first runner was jolene, followed by zhihao, vincent chew, kok yau, mii, grey singlet guy, shawn and mr toh.. im super disappointed.. i think i was the slowest runner.. but the whole team gave mii lots of support.. and not forgetting this guy.. hmmm.. i dun have good impression on him in skool.. he's not in FBI... but dunno for some reason, i dun realli have a good impression of him... den, some happen that change my tot, while running, i suddenly couldnt breathe well.. thus, i walk... but this guy, he do not know mii at all and vice versa, slow down and said "c'mon! dun give up!" i couldnt say anything at tat time and juz show him a thumb up... he overtake mii den suddenly he turn back again and gives mii more support.. i was so grateful to him at tat time bcoz if he didnt say tat, i would have given up and walked all the way.. i felt sorrie for the grey singlet guy also.. wen reaching the finishing line, to pass the baton to him, i couldnt see anything.. i juz continue running anf suddenly i saw him right in front of my face... and i could see him laughing at mii.. i guess i look pitiful? or funny.. hahas.. but he super nice to mii.. he kept saying, juz try ur best.. i was holding on to his word while running.. jolene gave mii support wen im entering the track.. shawn gave mii support after i reach the finishing line.. the teachers kept comforting mii while resting.. zhi hao too.. to summarise all, all of them ROX! i wun forget them.. together wif the red singlet guy who support mii while running..

after effect of the run is... limping.. my backbone hurt.. whole body aching.. haiz.. i juz not fit for sports.. haiz...

NEXT! i dunno whether it's a good thing anot but my mum will be going for haj on the 8th of dec this year.. 3 days after my bday.. so sad.. as in.. i wun be seeing her for like 1 month.. den, lots of work that i need to do.. plus, im not used to be far away from my mum for along time.. but it's a good thing coz performing pilgrimage is the 5th pillar of islam.. im juz too sad.. haiz...

TPSU.. hahas.. as usual, go duty once a week.. CCN day was interesting.. i was helping out TPSU and i followed hadi to sell the balloons.. it's seriously interesting.. hahas.. further more, the thing that i had been waiting for.. OTC! i was selected to be GL for FOs.. ever since my FOW, i ws inspired to be GL.. im halfway there.. hahas.. great..

lastly.. the thing that had been bugging mii tat lead mii to actually update this blog was some random dream tat i experienced this morning.. the thing is, i slept at 7am in the morning coz i went to watch some dramas at night.. and woke up at 8am to go see doctor.. but in this 1hr, i had 3 dreams.. the first dream was i dreamt that my dad had heart attack.. den i panic and suffered an anaemia attack.. i accidentally knocked my head onto the wall and regain consciousness.. ridiculous rite? my dad dun suffer from heart attack.. he's normal.. at least, normal as it is la.. hahas...

the second dream was wen i dreamt of my late grandma.. in that dream, i knew that my grandma had already passed away.. but i saw her sitting on my bed.. without any hesitation, i went to sleep on her leg.. i then started crying badly coz i know she;s gone and yet i could feel her... the dreams feels so real.. perhaps i miss her alot.. my mum told mii juz now that she dreant of her too.. such coincidence... den i was awoke by the sound of my sis in law opening the door..

the last dream... the most bugging dream.. i was in sports hall.. at the gallery there.. it was super quiet.. no one is there.. den suddenly, my classmates jolene appeared.. she was approaching mii, but she lost her steps and roll down the stairs.. the next thing i knew was that she was bleeding alot and die? i think so... im not sure coz my attention was somewhere else where this guy, let's call him 딴... he's my classmate.. real life classmate.. i dun wan to reveal his name bcoz i'm scared of rumours spreading.. recently, i've been thinking bout this guy alot.. ever since sem 1.. i'll reveal some few things here la.. i admit tat i once said that Nicholas is cute and i like him.. but i guess it was juz some lame joke tat i said it myself.. take it as it was my fault.. but my class once went for a SENTOSA outing and at Vivo, we played true or dare game.. there's this question tat i was asked by Sebastian.. i still remember it clearly.. it was.."in our class, who would u most likely to kiss... best not mii la.." tat was said by sebastian.. deep in my heart, i wanted to say 딴... but i was thinking, i would destroy our relationship if i said so... wat's more.. he went for the outing.. den again, i tot, since i once cracked a lame joke, i might as well use it to block the truth... so i said it was NICHOLAS.. sorrie for lying in the game.. but it was for the best... and i obviously saw Valerie whispering to ChuHui... the word was 'EXPECTED'.. i kept quiet coz i tot i did the right thing.. and at tat point of time, i felt very sad.. i didnt expect tat they would do that.. but yeah.. watever.. it wasnt the true answer.. so i dun really care... so let's go back to now.. i've been thinking of him alot.. alot and alot.. but i kept quiet.. things are meant to be tat way.. im currently confused whether i like him.. but i die die wun reveal who he is.. back to the dream.. i saw 딴 while i was trying to help jolene.. den suddenly 딴 fall onto mii.. he was bleeding too.. i was so shock.. it's lame but i actually HUG him... at tat point of time, i couldnt think of anything else but juz to be by his side.. [if i were to think rationally, i would have run for help] i was so scared tat he would die.. i cried loudly... shaking his body again and again.. calling out his name.. asking him to wake up.. but he was helplessly laying on mii.. tears continue flowing and i juz continue hugging him.. in the dream, i could feel his cheek touching my cheek.. den suddenly, i could feel his mouth touching mine... at tat moment, PUFF! i woke up! i couldnt believe the dream... the moment i woke up, i check the time and all.. the feeling of losing the love ones was present.. to recall again, the last time i had this feeling was wen i was witnessing my grandma's death.. this feeling makes mii more confused whether i like him.. coz seriously, i've been liking him since sem 1.. but i didnt say anything coz i noe my stand well.. but it was too scary that i cant stop thinking bout.. it was scary that i dunno whether i will be able to sleep anot.. I WISH TO TOK TO 딴 NOW.. but im sure he's super alright now.. healing his own heart..

tat's all for now... it is too long as it is.. see u next time..
사랑해요 딴!
sincerely from 하리야니...