Final Goodbye

9:39 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
On sunday.. it's the final day, the funeral day, the cremation day..
I'm working at 2 thus i couldnt stay long.. i juz stayed till he left.. till it's really the final goodbye for mii..

the moment i enter the wake area, there's so many ppl.. i reach at 11.45am.. i juz stand at the back.. den suddenly, i saw the pictures that SU had put up.. i couldnt stop myself but cry..
all the picts were him and others.. he was smiling sweetly.. he was having a great time.. looking cool in his clothes.. i saw those picts.. wen i see Zilra pictures.. i cant stop crying too.. someone who is so close to us.. yet, he's gone..

i went nearer.. to see a better picture of the pictures.. den i saw few Zilra mates, GLs all mourning.. all i could do for them is console them, lend a shoulder, while deep inside, im crying out loud.. such a painful feeling..

den alot of them start offering incent.. i juz stood behind.. recalling those times.. those moments.. but wen it's time to see him for the last time.. ALL the student sang Temasek School Song.. wen all were singing, i cant stop crying.. all were singing in unison.. all were singing and crying.. wen i finally reach the coffin.. i said my FINAL goodbye and rest in peace.. and i finally cry out loud.. wen his mother thanked us for coming to see his son, said that we are brother and sisters and good frens to Clifton, i cry out loud too.. i juz couldnt control myself anymore..

den they do the ceremony, closing of coffin and finally the military ceremony.. I only witnessed the covering of coffin with the Singapore Flag, the sword(i think) and his wings.. den slowly, the carry the coffin to the van.. we followed him from the back till everyone boarded the bus..

while waiting for them to set off, i finally manage to share my tots wif some auntie that i dunno.. lols.. she was wondering who died la.. so yeah.. after tat, RUSHING TO WORK.. hahas..

The final goodbye is said.. i guess i've let go of everything.. will definitely remember him always.. will definitely miss him dearly.. Clifton Lam 1987 - 2008

Clifton Lam

12:30 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
yesterday, wen i heard the news...
only one drop of tears..
and for the rest of the day, i could only keep quiet..
wen i was at the funeral.. my heart beats so much.. no words could describe the feeling..

mii, gibson, larry and daryl were the first fews that came from skool..
i tot it was more practical to spent time there then to spent time travelling thus we took a cab there.. wen i reach, the 3 of them offer incent to him.. the moment i saw his picture, my heart tear into thousand pieces.. it's him in his graduation clothes.. in my tots, it keeps fighting.. is it really him.. with full confusion, i decided to see him..
when i look at him.. the first thing that pop in my mind is...
this is not clifton.. this cant be clifton..
clifton is someone lively, always smile...
but this clifton, down there, looks so innocent, peaceful and cold..
where is the clifton that i used to see.. is this really clifton..?

after tat, the four of us juz stand at the back.. having the same tots..
it is such a waste.. he's a talent.. he dun deserve it...
all this.. keep playing in our heads.. my feelings was mixed.. i couldnt cry either..
jus felt that im carrying a heavy heart.. heavy feeling.. heavy sigh...
wen others came crying to mii, i really wanna cry out loud.. but i juz cant..
the matter doesnt get any better.. i went to see him for again, to bid goodbye...

this morning, wen i read the newspaper, everywhere, it's his picture..
the more i read on, the more tears came rolling down..
every paper tat i read, tears flow like a river..
everytime i read it, i juz couldnt stop crying..
i still cant believe he is gone.. i still couldnt believe it...

im just his fren.. someone not so close to him.. but we were frens..
mii being his fren, i already felt so terrible..
how bout his family?? how bout his gf? they must be feeling 100x, no 1000x worst than wat i felt..
terence, who couldnt visit him on the first wake, he must be feeling terrible too..
exco member tat had work wif him, must felt terrible too..
my zilra GLs, my fellow zilraian's, we felt the same way..
we hug each other, we cry on each other..

but here i am... i just can wish u rest in peace.. live well in the other world..
i will say my final goodbye tmr.. if im not working, i would send u all the way to mandai..
but im sorrie.. i juz could be at the wake.. wishing u the final goodbye..
i think... it's time for mii to let go...
like wat one of my fren say...
we shud celebrate his life, nth else...
he has gone to a better world..
Goodbye, Clifton..

Rest in Peace

1:38 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
hey guys.. i know i didnt update my blog for quite some time..
but im just too sad right now..

Clifton Lam.. May u rest in peace..
U r my dearest FA who had never failed to recognise mii..
i still remember the last time we met..
u were smiling as always..
ur angelic smile, ur cute laughter, will never be forgotten...
may u rest in peace..

I just cant believe that u r gone.. .
When i saw the news on the paper, i just cant believe that it's u..
when i realise that it's u, no words can describe my feelings rite now..
i still cant believe it..

Perhaps, God loves u more than us..
Thus, he brought u back first..
Take care, Clifton...

*** for those who wants to visit Clifton, Please meet at the student lounge at 8.30pm.. Thanks