feel like blogging.

11:01 AM Edit This 1 Comment »
hahas. there's nothing much for mii to update here.
had not been feeling well and i know well enuf why is it so.
emotionally tired. physically tired. mentally tired.

nowadays, i dun seem to be able to sleep.
everytime im alone, i kept thinking of him.
as i tot of him, there are smiles.. there are tears.
the time we spent together. it's really regretful.
being the one saying the last words, it makes mii wonder alot.
did i do the right thing. or did i made a mistake?
should i had waited or should i had given him more chance?
but at this point of time, i just felt that the result will still be the same.
i can't trust him anymore. i can't be confortable wif him anymore.

at the same time, haiz.. let's juz keep this silent..
i'm just not sure. i'm just dunno. i'm just clueless.

heard of Lee Seung Gi's song - Let's Break Up?
although I like the 'lie lie lie lie lie' part.
there's this part of the lyrics that makes mii cry..

"Let's break up..Let's not meet again..Even if sometimes we are sad..We can only smile at the memories..I've always lived for you..I know you better than anyone else..Now I'll have to send you off for your own happiness..Forgetting the love we have shared..Let's live like that.."

back from long hiatus! (:

8:25 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
wah.. the last time i blogged! hahas.

quite update in between the late blog and now..
1) MP Groupings
my group consists of myself, joanne, jay and geetha. we did an internal MP for VTB Capital.
it was a bittersweet experience. well, i dun wan to go further about this!

2) Huanyi Fly Off
yeah.. she left singapore! lols.. leave mii alone here! lols..
ur absence r felt and i really look forward to ur vacation! (:

3) SIP (attachment)
i had been attached to RBS - Royal Bank of Scotland - in Singapore Change Management Dept.
been there for 3 weeks now and i really like it alot there.
cant say much bout work however it was really great to be there!
i like my team member alot too, despite being busy all the time, hahas!
love the ppl attach there too! joanne, yizhi, alvin lim, alvin tan, valerie, ronald, caixue, zhi yuan, nicole, si kai.. not forgetting the orq ppl - nicholas, wei choy and wan ying. AND MYSELF of course. haahas.

4) Hari Raya!
lols.. i still havent really go out with my frens! no time.. weekdays totally off due to attachment. so now down with weekends only. haiz. i hope we manage to go out together this year! BUDAK SHAZRA!~ hahas. (photos to be uploaded soon!)

apart from all this. im blogging becoz im not feeling that good nowadays. as usual.
going through a hard time right now. experiencing 2 set back recently.
to describe how bad that setback is.. it's like..
if i live my life for 3 reason. I've lost one of it.
but to be optimistic.. it might or might not be replaceable.
however, it's possible.

at the moment of sadness, i was impressed by someone.
that person impressed mii that much till im dumbfounded.
maybe bcoz i've always look down on that person that i was dumbfounded.
it's not that i really look down on that person.
just that, i have never had great thought about that person? lols.

well.. i dunno.. im random keep listening to Goodbye from Air Supply.
i know the reason well y.. and i juz keep humming to that song. especially the chorus.

"..you would never ask me why. my heart is so disguised. i just can't live a lie anymore. i would rather hurt myself. than to ever make you cry. there's nothing left to say. but goodbye.."

and to add on to the broken heart, this song really reflects my feelings. in a way or another...

I'm smiling without me knowing
My heart keeps on wanting you
Should I smile and hold you in my heart
Or hide you inside pretending not to know

I want to be a good person for you
so that you can lean on me
I know well that it might not be comfortable
But that is a job for my heart.

Thump. Thump. My thumping heart
I turn around to hide it

Love is helpless
The heart doesn't move the way you want it too
No matter how hard I try to suppress it
I am missing again
I think I'm going to love him

From time to time I become afraid
Because it feels like it isn't mine

Love is helpless
The heart doesn't move the way you want it too
No matter how hard I try to suppress it
I am missing again
I think I'm going to love him

I love.. I love you..
Maybe this tearful happiness is love
No matter how hard I try to stop, it doesn't happen.
I love you. I will only love you.

well, i will end this blog with..

"subconsciously following.. and I consciously avoid it...
I know well enough why I am like that.. but I still keep wondering over it...
I told myself to avoid you.. I told myself to ignore you..
but why are your words keep repeating in my head..
and why is your face keep appearing in my dreams..

I keep telling myself it's your fault.. and keep telling myself you are the cause of it...
but then again.. I have a part to blame.. and I'm helpless about it.."