27 NOV

2:48 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
it's nearly 3am and i juz cant sleep.. im still thinking over some few things.. infact.. alot of thing..

being frank, i was super happie that we reached the target.. but slowly, unexpected, the target is decreasing.. all my high expectation is like almost gone.. i dunno wat to say.. it needs 2 hands to clap.. i cant do things alone..

sometimes i dun feel that i actually exist in the class... do i need to be loud to be noticed? by saying this way, i may seem like some attention seeker.. but i dun think i am.. i juz dun feel the bondedness anymore.. a simple invitation makes a total difference... in my opinion i guess.. hmm.. this wed, it's denver's b'day.. i wonder is there any celebration.. it's possible to celebrate it during apel.. i hope my dreams are not crushed... i've been dreaming too much..

i always felt that shud juz leave things that.. i was sad that i wasnt invited for Alvin's b'day celebration.. at times, i would be reading my classmates blog and all.. and deep in my heart, i would say "i wish to be there too".. it's probably too awkward for mii to there already... do u guys still treat mii as ur fren.. sometimes, wen i think back, wat wrong had i really done? can something be done to resolve it.. sometime, i ask myself, who is the one who start everything... the blame falls on mii? i dunno.. am i really that pathetic? am i really that unlucky? am i really that bad that.. nvm... there's always a good thing behind something.. im adapting to this lifestyle.. right now, i juz wish to go back to secondary school life.. where everyone treat mii as one.. we are super bonded.. one for all, all for one.. where, at least, everyone treat mii as a fren.. i dun wish to suffer peer pressure again.. this had caused mii a great loss last sem.. at time like this, i wish to change course.. change skool... but i am myself... i dun change for other ppl.. i dunwan to be adapting to some random topic tat my frens love and i dunno bout.. im not a hypocrite.. but cant ppl accept mii for who i am..? a gal's heart is easily hurt... im a gal afterall.. im feeling it.. it's killing.. but im grateful towards jasmine lim, jasmine chow and huanyi.. at least, there's someone i can rely on..

birthday next week and i dun seem to be looking forward for it.. this is the first time that i am celebrating my bday in skool.. how about all december babies celebrate together? more bonded tat way.. wild wishes on my part...

my mum departure date to Haj is forwarded to the 7th today.. which means i need to skip my BFA tut.. it may feels abot sucky but i dun wan to miss sending my mum off.. she will be away for over a month.. hmmm.. my mum is more important than skool...

this year, i think im gonna make my b'day wish for my mum.. i mean she will require lots of energy while performing the haj.. i juz hope that she will stay healthy while down there... and came back in safely.. im gonna miss her alot...

amirah's b'day falls on wed.. MUST HAVE a gathering k! juz like last year.. and for any other year to come.. this is the only day that we could meet in a year.. seems pathetic but thankful coz at least there's a day in 365 days tat we met.. best friends forever...

still thinking bout the 딴's dream.. i've revealed who is he to huanyi and both jasmine.. my trustable fren.. this part is confidential.. since it will be in korean, i guess u guys wun understand.. 나는 너를 많게 좋아한다 그러나 너에 말하기 위하여 나는 위협된것을 보인다. 나가 가능하게 우리가 저것의거의 때 나는 너를 좋아하는 것과 말할 수 있는 까 라고 너의 생일에 오고 있다 시작하거든 나는 너에게 보유 나 돌아오는 무언가를 주기같이 느꼈다 그러나 이렇게 많은 것 있는다. 나의 감각이 너를 위해 살아날 수 있는 그러나 나가 생각하는 까 얼마나 나는 모른다 나가 나가 기적을 위해 지금 바라는 너에게 정직하기 위하여 가지 않으면 장시간을 걸릴 것 을.

나는 기적을 위해 지금 일어난것을 다만 바란다 - i just wish for a miracle to happen right now..
~naneun gijeoneur wihae jigeum ireonan geosor taman paranta~