have u?

2:31 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
hmmm.. have u ever experience a situation where your mind and your heart speaks to each other? well.. i think i had mine yesterday.. maybe it doesnt sound right... but this is wat happens.. my heart was super troubled yesterday.. coz of 2 reasons.. and coz of that, i think my mood totally goes bad and i feel like crying all the time.. den at one point of time, perhaps i was trying to comfort myself, in my heart, i said - how bout this hari, dun bother about it coz it will just hurt you further - wen tat happens, i keep thinking about what i did.. lols.. it's like im talking in 3rd person perspective.. LOLS. anyways.. the brain advices the heart so that i won't get hurt.

and isit becoz i made that decision that things is starting to change? i was super tired and dun feel like going to work at all.. my right eyes keep flickering - means u gonna cry - and i keep wondering what will happen today.. oh well.. finally it happen.. and i was trying hard to control the emotion, control my reaction and chill.. but then wen ppl ask mii whether im sad or whether im okie, tears just keep rolling.. it finally happens.. and somehow im glad.. coz i told myself, new year - pls end it... and i'm halfway through the journey.. should i be changing lane? i dun think so.. coz to mii, changing lane or not, i'll still get hurt.. i'll definitely get hurt.. maybe i'll just stay this way for the time being.. i dunno whether it's a good thing or not.. but i think i wont be able to like anyone anymore.. at least not now.. that's wat i feel.. the pain is unbearable that makes mii dun wan to go thru it anymore.. it's not just becoz of him, it's everything.. everything as a whole.. at times i blame it to God coz he makes mii go thru all these.. i noe im wrong to do that.. but then.. haiz.. keep the happie memories.. and just remember it as it is... maybe there's a blessing in disguise.. although i dun care... i just feel so weak right now.. and i dun even wan to try to be optimistic..