LOVE & FEELINGS

these words keep playing in my mind...

"tell the truth...be honest...BUT.. i am not lying either..i SIMPLY choose to remain silent..."

this is all because...

"at times, it's reallie best to remain silent.. because.. different people react differently to certain things...it may just be something way further than what you would actually had expected it..."

SAVE MII..thanks.

i did try my best to ask.. i did try my best to take part..
however, at the same time, i think being ignorant is the way, although im not the type to do so.
wen i keep telling myself to ignore.. dont care.. just continue normally..
why must my effort being questioned again and again??

i was able to ignore those things.. i act as if it doesnt affects mii..
and smile and laugh like i normally do.. why do i feel so senseless? haizzzz

RAWR! yeah.. i got no life nowadaes..
no money no life.. got money STILL no life...
got life no money.. no life, just DIE la! lols!

mon - fri, 9-6pm, see mii no where except RAFFLES PLACE. yeah.. im still working in RBS. under contract for 3mths only. last day = 31st May 2010.
and then.. by the time i reach home is already 7pm. 7pm - 2am is the only time that I can relaxed and watch drama. My entertainment source.. haiz..
but in situations where i don't go home, i would be probably somewhere ard town or city going out with frens for DINNER or drinks.. haiz..

sat - sun, the only time where i can relax la.. either i spend my time at home or go out lor. but usually, i end up accompanying my mum doing stuff liek going to relative/friends wedding - all the time.. haiz.. i still havent include my commitment in private tutoring.. haiz boring life..

as time goes by, more and more ppl are talking about going overseas.. perhaps, i might have shown no interest in these kind of talks however im just a normal human.. i would definitely be excited to go overseas with frens la.. like u noe.. totally independant.. oh well.. i hope i will get those chance wen i grow older.. (((:

finally graduating from poly.. waiting for acceptance from uni - tat's taking forever.. and yeah.. thinking how i should make use of my remaining time after quiting rbs and uni.. work? - later no time to hang out.. slack at home? - i will just get scolded for being lazy.. go out? - like tat money will constantly go down.. HAIZ. WHAT AM I TO DO WITH MY LIFE?! RAWR!

LOVE LIFE? oh god.. dun even talk about it. as much as im not interested in getting into a relationship. i do feel lonely at times. PATHETIC! i know.. such a LOSER! i know well enuf.. but eotteokajyo? life needs to go on.. (((:

WHATEVER LIFE! dun wanna care alreadii.. just move on and grow..
currently planning malacca trip with the interns.. yeah.. with nicole, joanne, valerie, wanying, yizhi, sikai, alvin etc.. some of them still havent confirm yet la.. but im sure is excited for this trip.. hahahs.. coz we're travelling together yo! hahahas.. 2 days most probably.. woot woot..

and yes! im still waiting to go out with some ppl.. such as meeting my 2cube! meeting my freshies such as al and ardy! hanging out with my BFF, syak and amirah.. and maybe, E4Com outing??? oh well.. tat's hard to get everyone.. LOLS.. and yeah.. cheemeng and sayhaow meet up! (((:

i got scolded for something that is totally not my fault...
wat's worst is tat, im the victim and yet i got scolded for it..
and becoz of that, i got really angry and yet i cant say anything about it...
im like suppressing a huge feeling of anger becoz of the scolding and also bcoz im the victim..

and now.. im crying not becoz im sad but becoz of anger.. it feels so hard to breathe.. haizzz.

wahahahas! I noe abit late la... but i just wanna upload the picnic pictures here for memories! hahas. we had organise a picnic.. at ECP... and of course, it was slightly tough.. coz it's a PICNIC. we booked nothing.. and i was dead worried that we couldnt get a spot to sit. and also.. we got no wet weather plan and so on.. hahas.. but i think, it's the number of ppl that matters!

horrible guys! ask them to meet mii at PP mac.. and they went ECP mac! hahahahs.. was slightly angry but it's okie.. i made them come to PP mac to help mii carry things.. hahahas. alvin lim - hu was supposed to bring the mat, cannot make it last min - so luckily i managed to borrow my cousin's mat! hahahas. and one huge tray of noodle, i was struggling carrying all of it. weeee (: so the guys do the job wen we met at MP NTUC... wah.. the whole place is really different and i really dunno what is where anymore! horrible! but i see my old colleagues! miss them lots! hahahas.

so the first batch of ppl tat came is mii, sikai, zhiyuan and yizhi.. 4 of us slowly loiters ard and try to find new spot.. till yizhi say.. let's sit here!~ hahahas.. den we sat down, eat first and play bridge.. hehe.

den nicole and alvin tan came over.. thanked god for nicole for bringing her own mat coz my mat totally small for alot of us.. hahahahs.. den she brought speaker as well.. so we all can listen to music.. as much as i wanna offer my ipod, there's only korean song inside.. hahahs!

after tat, we had weichoy and lastly deeraj, who came with the rain.. so we went pool.. hahahas. durign the pool. only some stayed.. the rest went HK cafe to slack.. haha.. not bad right.. sometime, i feels tat plannign just doesnt work at times~

so here are some of the picts to share!

play bridge anyone? hahahsalvin tan saying no to pictures! heee

oh well.. 26 Feb marks the last day of my internship... including others as well..
for those who extend as contractors, we'll be meeting each other next week for abt 2-3 months..
for those who is not extending, especially the guys, hope to meet up with you ppl very soon.. i noe u all going NS and all, but we can still MEET rite! hahas!

personally, i'm actually very sad that slowly the number of interns left is getting lesser and lesser.. it was kinda expected however i still feel very sad about it.. haiz.. how i wish i have the power to keep the people i like to be around mii all the time.. but life doesnt go around mii.. and i cant force ppl or anything..

the interns in RBS was super bonded... i feel so.. we gets closer day by day.. no more awkwardness.. no more shyness.. although at times, we may felt unhappiness towards somebody, but i'm sure we forget about it soon after.. wen we sit down and chit chat and chill, we definitely got lots of jokes and laughter to share.. even silence are appreciated at times.. drinking session? every friday? why not? although i cant drink and dun drink, i felt that it's fun... felt bad though.. but i have my own principle to follow and i need to be discipline with myself.. frankly, i do CONSIDER drinking.. after seeing many ppl - my kind - drinks.. i wish i was like them.. i wish i was daring enuf to go against my conscience.. however, there's a corner in mii that says, "ONCE YOU START, YOU WILL CONTINUE DOING THE SAME" - this kind of fear keeps mii from not drinking..

i still havent share the GOOD news of mii extendign to my family.. havent share the pay amount.. havent share the period of extension.. nothing.. i wanna keep it a surprise.. coz i think they would be proud of mii.. lols! in any case, the extension is just a few months.. i'm sure i'll only be able to reach my goals once i graduate from university.. like how i had promised myself and my family... and now i tot - 'so this is how im growing up to be an adult'

my team.. as said earlier.. my team had been wonderful! especially with nez, zion and sharleen in the team.. but sad to say.. i'll be alone during march period.. since each of them going overseas trip.. sad rite~ but it's okie! i'll do the cover up in SINGAPORE! ((:

about love life.. i had decided to be cool about it.. im not going to take any initiative.. to like someone or to know the someone or whatever... im just gonna be cool about it and not look for it..
if it's meant to come, it will come.. if im meant to be single all my life, let it be.. i noe it's pathetic to say these but this is seriously what i feel.. coz i realised that wherever i look for it, i fall for him and then.. i will be the one getting hurt.. and once u get hurt, u still have to recover from the hurt and pain.. and all these will just make mii mentally tired.. i shud be manipulative and use my mental power for other things such as studying or gaining some good knowledge.. seriously, being RBS i realised my strength and my weakness... what's worst is that.. the weakness is so intimidating and demorallisign to mii and my strength is not that wonderful either.. haiz.. time to wake up~~~

Hahas.. This is interesting.. I can only input words from the HTML part n not the compose column.. Lols
actually I got many things to post up.. But I keep thinking whether it's good to share in a blog which many ppl can see... Haiz
so I had decided not to post anything about those that I was soooo happie about.. Lols

I'd told myself that I'm not going to look for it and wait for it to come.. But then.. Somehow.. Same thing happens again n again... Haiz.. But I guess the way I handle my feelings is slightly different this time.. . One thing for sure.. I keep denying that I like him.. Even to myself.. I myself wants him as a good fren and nothing more.. Coz this will lead to nowhere n in the end of the day... The one gettin hurt is mii n not him.. So let mii myself set the barrier and hold myself together before i fall into the bottomless pit...

I know I'm getting more and more attracted to him.. But whatever I do, I'll tell myself that being his frens is better than confessing and then become awkward with each other becoz of some confessions... Haiz.. I'll just wait an wait n will not take the initiative.. (:

i spend ard 5 mins to think of a suitable post title.. and i still havent decide on what to write.. LOLS..

January 2010 is ending soon.. hahahs. time flies so fast sia.. and 2010 had been wonderful so far, but i had 2-3 sadness that happened to mii.. hahahas.. i'm trying to be optimistic and move on..

as time flies, the time spend as an intern in RBS also flies... time flies so fast till one point of time, i counted that i had 3 more weeks of internship left... hahahas.. and i reallie felt sad about it... my internship ends on the 12 of feb.. which is.. erm.. 2 weeks from now.. and because of that, i spend about an hour reading my esip! remembering the time i first enter RBS, the first time working in the office life.. first time communicating with so many foreigner.. lots of first time... lots of memories.. lots of learning point.. lots and lots and lots of it.. (: overall, i'm really glad and happie to be in my team and i feel very lucky... thank you god. you had answered my prayer. but at the same time, pardon mii for being such a greedy follower, there are still many things that i had yet to achieve... but only you noe my life best and i had always believed tat you always give the best to mii... for that, i'm thankful.

oh well.. my internship had extended anyway.. till 26 feb.. yup.. 2 more weeks.. as to whether i'll continue in RBS after internship, graduation and till i go university, it's still pending.. hehehehe..

talking about university.. wah.. this one is a huge headache to mii.. and i had spend soooooo many weeks thinking about it and i'm still thinking.. LOLS.. february - the application will open and i'm like gonna send at least one application to the local uni - NUS, NTU and SMU... im hoping to get NUS or NTU of course.. but more to the NTU side.. but it's so FAR! hahahas. as to wat course i'm applying.. hmmmmm... secret.. lols! wait till i got the application den talk about it... else, just hope that i got the best for myself.. hahahahas..

i reallie feel like talking about work stuff here but really la.. cannot blog abt it.. hahahas.. all that i can say is.. my team is getting more and more happening and im loving it.. it rox.. but im worried that i cannot leave this place when it's time.. i think im like gonna cry and cry and cry.. hahahas.. MAYBE la.. sometimes, when u think u will, u will end up the NOT... hahahas.

suffering from body ache now.. argh.. i seriously need to train up sia.. hahahas.. jialat man..

i'm signing off...

I HATE YOU!
REALLIE REALLIE HATE YOU!



for making mii feels like this....
if i read your msg 1000 times, i'll think, "how can i not like him?" 1000 times too! (:

Been badly sick.. stomach flu.. from tuesday.. and it turns severe yesterday..
how severe can it be? hmmm.. today i went to see doctor again and the doctor ask mii to drip for few hours since im unable to eat and got no energy.. good thing i had my sister in law as nurse.. she help mii out in that at home.. hahahs. few hours on it.. and i feel so much energetic now.. RAWR!

as i was badly sick, im especially thankful to those who care for mii..
sikai, valerie, nicole and zhiyuan had constantly sms-ed mii to ask mii how am i..
at work, alvin lim, ronald, joanne, sharleen, nez, vincent, auntie irene asks how i feel.. thanks!
feel especially blessed this time round.. thank you!
not forgetting amirah and syakira - sad that syakira kena stomach flu like mii also! pls recoveer soon u! hahas

just sharing something that had been troubling mii..
sometimes, it's especially easy to misunderstood someones good gesture as something else..
but it's good gesture afterall, so it's supposed to be a good thing. but if im not confident of myself to accept it, i might just get hurt if i had fallen for it.. and once i had fallen for it, it's hard to find the way back.. matters of the heart, it's hard to decipher.. haiz..
he started being close to mii and since tat, i cant stop thinking about it.. den at one point of time, he told mii to stop being too close to him.. leaving mii speechless and stunned.. when i finally restrained myself from him, he's the one coming over to mii again.. making mii all confused.. i dunno what he trying to do.. dunno what he wants.. but i'm not going to take the risk.. im going to treat him as a fren.. and just a fren..
but despite saying all this, deep down in my heart, i always anticipate what he does to mii.. anticipate his calls and his sms.. his this and his that.. haiz.. it's like there's something that makes mii keep going over to him despite mii having to avoid him and restrain myself... no matter how much i wan it, i have to tell him, dont be good to me.. i'm scared of getting hurt again..

and that's how my feelings are now.. linked to the below video.. 90% similar..

I'll end this post with this song - Don't Be Good to Me - Kim Jong Kook

lols.. wonders wat's bluek? doesnt it sounds like vomitting sound? YES!
lols.. been sick.. two days to be exact.. and still sick..
i was sick till the point that i cant do much except for sleep, camp in toilet and lie down.. hahahs..

i have to admit.. the reason i'm sick is becoz of someone.. haiz..
it's like his msg disappoint mii.. hurts my feelings badly till i can feel my whole body warmed up.. warmed up nvm.. wen i hear his msg ringtone again, instead of looking at it, i covered my ears and cried badly.. i totally breakdown.. i keep thinking of his msg till the point that... haiz..

and in the end, i just went to my room, skipped dinner and sleep.. well.. obviously i cant sleep coz i keep thinking about it.. but then.. somehow, i managed to fall asleep.. den comes the worst.. at 2am, i started vomitting.. vomitting once or twice nvm.. it's like constantly till my mum put a bucket in my room.. den early morning go see doctor..

i have to admit.. till now, i still cant stop thinking of it.. or cant stop thinking of him.. i was so disappointed at how he misunderstood everything.. but then again, i think why shud i care coz it's him that misunderstood and not mii.. so now, i just gonna stay silent.. recover asap.. and just ignore..

think of the happie times.. hari.. turn to the next page! lols!

niwaes... i'm very very happie... coz 09 Jan was a GREAT day.. i'm super tired though.. hahahs..
early morning went to wet market to buy bbq foood.. LOLS.. went with my mum and brothers.. hahahas.. and we had breakfast outside as well.. LOLS.. den rushed home to go plaza singapura to collect Edwin's bodybuilding competition tickets.. after that rushed home to pack to go to SiKai's house for the bbq.. hahahas.. im so happie.. coz some ppl tat i didnt expect to come, came.. hahahs.. in the end, the attendees are mii, sikai, nicole, vale, yizhi, ronald, alvin tan and wei choy... hahas... although not much variety of food.. i think it's quite enjoyable..

we met at simei mrt.. to shop for stuff at ntuc.. den sikai's mum fetch us.. hahahas.. gosh.. i think sikai is lucky.. i think he got a nice family.. pretty and nice mum.. cool dad.. frenly siblings.. hahahs.. seriously.. i can't help it but to compare la.. but well, everyone has their own story.. (:



sikai being the fire starter.. LOLS.. he really ah pek la.. keeps making the fire with mii and ronald.. STUPID charcoal... produce more ashes than heat.. RAWR.. den destroy my foood... LOLS.. then at some point of time, i went to play my UNO attack that i brought over last minute-ly.. LOLS.. after that, most of the time, i'm busy doing the bbqing.. yizhi came over and brought his poker cards and taught the ppl how to play bridge.. lols.. seriously, i'd never played poker nor Tie-T nor watever got to do with poker cards.. so i see no point of mii joining them.. LOLS.. the guys enjoyed bridge to the max.. and we gals spends the whole time cooking the food and pass it to them.. LOLS.. i enjoyed doing my satay! hahahs! playing with fire.. hahahs.. happie that food is cleared.. weee (:



den nicole and weichoy left early coz they got prior appt with other ppl.. soo down to vale, mii, sikai, yizhi, ronald and alvin tan.. hahas. finally mii and valerie sat down and ate the prawns.. LOLS.. the guys is still in their own world playing games.. den vale had to leave earlier.. leaving mii the only gal.. it's not a bad thing la.. coz i really dun wan to leave early.. but neither do i expect to leave THAT late.. hahas.. but i LIKE~~ lols.. niwaes, while the guys continue playing, i did my share, as a gal, by clearing the bbq place.. hahahs.. by 10 like tat, they decided to go sikai house and CONTINUE playing.. lols.. at sikai's house, i managed to wash up abit.. coz i brought extra shirt.. and my body is too oily from the bbq-ing.. hahahas.

den being the only gal and being the one hu dunno how to play bridge... i decided to read magazine~ lols.. so yizhi suggested that i either play STREET FIGHTER at PS3 or learn to play bridge.. hahas.. so i partnered sikai, hu is supposed to teach mii the game.. but i feel sorrie that they need to waste another time explaining to mii so i told them to just play and i'll learn the rope from there.. hahas.. so sikai tried his best to teach mii.. thanks for that.. but still, i dun get the bidding part! lols.. i like the hearts part and love the partner part.. haahahs. i think the game is realy nice to watch if u noe hu is hu's partner.. HAHAAS.. i ESPECIALLY entertained by Alvin's sound effect.. everytime he made a sound effect, everyone would laugh like mad.. hahahs. i like RONALD's randomness.. LOLS.. good sia... and yizhi is like soooo suay.. keep getting below 4 pts.. and for sikai.. hmmm.. i shall not say anything coz he's my partner.. LOLS.. it's really fun lor..



den they guys keep playing and playing till 2am! yes! 2am! hahahas.. so decided to fly home.. with ronald and yizhi.. reached home at ard 2.30am just to realise i dun have house key.. weee (; yes.. slept outside till 4am.. hahahas.. where my bro called mii.. LOLS.. i think i can fall sick liao.. LOLS... so quoting from valerie, 090110 RBS TP Interns BBQ is a success! muahahahas. will upload picts later.. coz now i lazy.. LOLS.. weee (:

it's so funnie.. wen i woke at 8am just now, i went to change place to sleep.. went to my brother's room.. lols.. den i keep thinking of the bbq, i think i fall asleep smiling.. i really enjoyed it.. LOLS..

ending this post with.. Betting~



This screenshot was taken from my twitter.. the reason for being nervous was becoz i made a bet on his driving test.. and i still have the bet notes on my phone.. i wrote "here's the bet.. if he passed his test, we're meant to be.. Else, i'll have to forget him.." but then, i noe the result well enuf.. i lose the bet.. follow the consequences.. maybe it's fated that way.. BUT SOMEHOW, I'M RELUCTANT... but at this point of time, i made it clear to myself, it's time to forget him.. but take ur time.. no matter how reluctant you are.. take your time.. this is the first starting point..

but somehow along the way.. he made mii waver again and again.. obviously, unintentionally.. but still what can i say.. he's clueless.. and perhaps that why i made the second bet.. but now that i think again, i'm just finding ways and manners to continue liking him.. like wat ppl say.. if u really want it, u'll make 1001 excuses.. hence this drags on..

making the bet already shows that i'm starting to think twice.. making a bet is not easy.. coz the consequences that i'm facing is something that i dun reallie wan.. lots of what if.. lots of uncertainty.. i thought alot to come to this betting.. i gather lots of courage to continue with the bet.. when the actually day arrives, i was praying hard hoping that this is for the best of both of us.. i was very nervous.. i was very scared.. it's hard to describe my emotions that day.. constant worries and constant fear.. haiz.. oh well.. it's over anyway.. just like one of my new year resolution is..

lots of lesson learnt.. lots of point taken... Hari, LEARN from it..

"A broken heart continues to beat."

hmmm.. have u ever experience a situation where your mind and your heart speaks to each other? well.. i think i had mine yesterday.. maybe it doesnt sound right... but this is wat happens.. my heart was super troubled yesterday.. coz of 2 reasons.. and coz of that, i think my mood totally goes bad and i feel like crying all the time.. den at one point of time, perhaps i was trying to comfort myself, in my heart, i said - how bout this hari, dun bother about it coz it will just hurt you further - wen tat happens, i keep thinking about what i did.. lols.. it's like im talking in 3rd person perspective.. LOLS. anyways.. the brain advices the heart so that i won't get hurt.

and isit becoz i made that decision that things is starting to change? i was super tired and dun feel like going to work at all.. my right eyes keep flickering - means u gonna cry - and i keep wondering what will happen today.. oh well.. finally it happen.. and i was trying hard to control the emotion, control my reaction and chill.. but then wen ppl ask mii whether im sad or whether im okie, tears just keep rolling.. it finally happens.. and somehow im glad.. coz i told myself, new year - pls end it... and i'm halfway through the journey.. should i be changing lane? i dun think so.. coz to mii, changing lane or not, i'll still get hurt.. i'll definitely get hurt.. maybe i'll just stay this way for the time being.. i dunno whether it's a good thing or not.. but i think i wont be able to like anyone anymore.. at least not now.. that's wat i feel.. the pain is unbearable that makes mii dun wan to go thru it anymore.. it's not just becoz of him, it's everything.. everything as a whole.. at times i blame it to God coz he makes mii go thru all these.. i noe im wrong to do that.. but then.. haiz.. keep the happie memories.. and just remember it as it is... maybe there's a blessing in disguise.. although i dun care... i just feel so weak right now.. and i dun even wan to try to be optimistic..

well.. happie new year.. hahahas..
oh well.. nothing much is done during this long weekends..
but i think i spent most of the time sleeeeping.. and sleeeping and sleeeping.. lols

hahahs... really enjoyed the days at home.. lols
my family were are in shocked wen i tell them that i shall be at home during new year.. LOLS
they r like expecting mii to go out and hang out with frens.. but oh well.. decided to stay home.. weee (: had lots of fun with my crazy brother telling mii all sorts of joke~ hahahas

one the 3rd Jan.. i went out with sayhaow, cheemeng and eugene.. lols.. wat a GAY day.. hahahas.
spent the whole day at Bugis.. all start off with say haow needed to buy some clothes.. met the guys at 2pm(yes im late SORRIE. lols) at bugis junction.. den went to bugis street first to walk walk.. den met up with eugene... eugene was hungry.. so decided to go bugis junction to eat pastamania.. after tat, walk around the place for awhile.. where we took NEOPRINTS! yes.. GAY.. den, we went over to bencoolen for dessert.. LOLS.. after dessert, went over to OG.. after OG, we went over to bugis street again.. den go to SIM LIM for dinner.. den went to ILUMA to watch movie.. imagine walking back and fro bugis.. we got sianed and tired big time.. hahahas.. the movie~ lols! the fourth kind.. my real intention is to watch some horror movie but in the end we watch the fourth kind which is like alien movie... it's like.. if u r mentally prepared that u going to be watching a horror movie, the movie wouldnt turn out tat scary... but if it's the opposite, i guess the impact is huge.. hahahas.. tat's wat happen to mii.. how scary can an alien movie be? LOLS.. cant blame anyone but myself.. i got shocked in one of the scene and i started regretting since then.. hahahas.. dun ask how's the movie.. after the movie, the 3 of us turned speechless.. we got no comment about the movie however we r left with lots of question in the head.. hahahs.. oh well~


den nothing much.. i spend most of the time catching up with my dramas and variety shows.. got addicted to 2PM tired of waiting.. see below...



here's sth to reflect sth tat i spend some time thinking..
please just look at me for one last time..i couldnt say anything...
i'm the one who's crying like a fool..why can't you understand my heart..my heart tightens as time passes.. my eyes squeezing tears out... i am scared that this is the end....
i have lots to say so please listen.. do you know how i feel and i've confessed countless times... with or without you i have worry syndrome...don't neglect mii.. i want you by my side...
shivering lips and my heart won't last much..i am scared that it might stop..
did you get my sign? weeee (:

well.. i wouldnt say my xmas had been a busy one.. but i had lots of fun~ hahas.

now on movie craze.. hahahas.. im like watching lots and lots of movie laa... hahahas.
i tink the first movie i watch after a long hiatus was AVATAR. hahhas.
i watched it with Shaun Pel Panha (LOLS) and Mr Sulaiman.
again, it's like the reunion of the CEOs... hahas.. mii being the first CEO and followed by Panha.
Mr Sulaiman forever being the president of Cuckoo Club.. LOLS.. i love CUCKOO CLUB! lols.. miss those times!!! meeting them was a great pleasure.. LOLS.. we discuss about lots of things.. from computers to lappies to IT stuff to cameras to games to life.. hahahas. the movie was great!! hahas..
except for some part.. which i had a long argument with LEE SI KAI. lols.. oh well.. hahas.

following it was Sherlock Holmes.. hahas.. this one is super random. on facebook chat sobir was asking mii bout xmas etc etc. den by random he told mii tat he wanna watch movie alone.. LOLS. and mii randomly too said that i can accompany him if he wants.. LOLS. the point that i misunderstood was the day to watch.. i tot it was another day but then it was the day itself - 25 dec. but it's a goood thing coz i finally realised that i can book ticket using my UOB TX card that i got 3 yrs ago.. lols.. although the seat location was bad.. the movie was awesome.. hahas.. 10.50pm show and of course cabbed back.. hahhas.

den the next day, i got plans with syakira and amirah from like weeks ago.. hahs. coz i promised syak to watch new moon but drag and drag and drag.. hahhas. just to be scolded by them for watching sherlock holmes without them! LOLS. so yes.. watch sherlock holmes for the second time..hahahas... same movie twice in less than 24 hrs.. hahhas. but the outing was awesome as well.. though i got scolded, like again, for sleeping during the movie.. RAWR! but seriously, we need to stop twitting over every little things la!!! hahahas.

after that, amirah need to go off first leaving mii and syak at raffles city.. we spend some time at paper market - where my inspiration to be creative but CMI came about... hahas.. thanks syak for all the influencing.. i bought stuff to make sikai's bday card.. hahas.. was super excited wen we browse the shop. lots of things to buy.. lots of idea.. but the shop DAMN EX! lols.. after spending, mii and her went to ben and jerry for ice cream.. and then here come the random conversation to go L4D2. lols.. mad mad mad.. thanks syak for teaching.. i think i had lots of fun rawring.. however, it's stressful for a first timer.. LOLS.. went to dhoby ghaut to play..

sikai bday.. hahas. super interesting... wen mii and vale first plan it, we decided to do DIY cake.. however, we didnt noe 313 got the cake shop... the shop that we wanted to go to is like at JURONG. lols.. however, the tot of DIY-ing the cake makes us excited. thanks sharleen for telling us that 313 have the DIY cake shop.. we become more firm of getting him the DIY cake.. LOLS. and somehow, mii and nicole went over to make it and we r like small kids sia.. super excited to make the cake.. hahas.. at the same time, i feel sorrie for sikai.. hahas. coz the cake doesnt look as good as we tot. somehow it turn out tat way.. it looks nice initially.. i regret buying the additional small stars tat coz ex to mii.. LOLS.. den things got worst wen it was kept overnight.. coz some of the big stars like melt.. SORRIE sikai.. lols..

and as for his bday card.. hahas.. the CMI mii with ZERO creativity stare at the board for the whole sunday thinking wat to do with it.. LOLS.. the idea that i had at the shop somehow turn haywire wen i put it into actions! HAHAS. so i decided to call my bro for help and both of us sit down and tot of how to do it.. LOLS.. and my mum says that mii and my bro doing my SKOOL project.. hahahas. but by tuesday, i somehow feels that im doing a senseless thing.. hahas. coz initially i wanted to give it to him under my name and only my name.. coz buying those stuff at paper market is quite ex liao.. i felt might as well get a better present.. lols... k fine.. im selfish.. but i think it's fated la.. i somehow tot of how to make it more meaningful and decided to make it like RBS TP intern bday card. hahahs.. and im really glad that i did tat.. coz it became really really more meaningful tat way.. hahas. weee(:

and in the end, i bought him a dog-tag tat i found at 77th street.. hahas.. im like super happie wherever he wore it - FRIDAY... hahas.. i felt that i bought something that he appreciate! woohoo! (:

going to watch alvin and the chipmunks tmr.. YAY!

for sikai's sake.. here's all the links to the pictures. (:
Si Kai's Birthday Pictures
Xmas Eve Dinner Pictures
Xmas Bazaar Random Shots
Nicole's Birthday Pictures
Hariyani's Birthday Pictures
Alvin Tan's Birthday Pictures
Joanne's and Cai Xue's Birthday Pictures
Lena Kwah's Birthday Pictures
Alvin Lim's Birthday Pictures
Zhi Yuan's Birthday Pictures
Valerie's Birthday Pictures

Brown Eyed Girls - Sign - i prefer the orchestra version more actually.. hahas

lols.. okie.. i got his name spelling wrongly! LOLS..
his name is spelled A-Y-D-A-N! lols..
managed to get his photos.. can't blame him for looking at mii.. coz as i said last time..
i jumped in last minute.. lols.. well.. at least i got his pict! that's leeflyn and jasmine..
apart from tat.. LAST week, i was called xmas tree early morning.. hahas.. THIS week, i was called SANTA CLAUSE!! and his reasonings crack mii up.. as always.. hahahas.. (:

this week has been a lonely one.. sad.. but then... there are enjoyable ones as well..
especially love yesterday.. coz it's half day.. and yet i achieved many things..
finally gave him the tie.. hahas.. his supposed bday present bcum xmas present.. hahahas.
it's a relief actually.. at least, now i dun have to think wen to give it to him.. lols..

Asian Bellz was good.. hahas.. it's a different experience altogether.. being the performer and the audience.. wen i watch, lots of the songs reminds mii of the past.. omens of love reminds mii of secondary school life.. It's time for sayang sayang reminds mii of the times i work with Main Wayang Company.. great performance by Axil with the Electone.. cool sia.. makes mii wanna learn it.. LOLS!

xmas eve.. i made an imprompt outing.. hahas.. sorrie for being demanding! hahahas..
but cool la... went out with vale for sushi buffet at first.. den we went for swensens with sikai and zhiyuan for dinner/dessert.. hahahas.. it was quite fun actually.. i finally have a group of ppl to hang out with in attachment.. love them for being sporting! hahahas.. reallie fun and i had lots of fun.. hope others have fun too.. hahas.. and LEE SI KAI! im still demanding xmas present from u! hahahas. went arcade.. hahas.. it's been ages since i play arcade laaaa.. lols.. fun fun fun.. weee (: thanks for making mii laugh.. coz i really needed one.. hahahs..

ur sms on monday and ur sms last night.. makes my day.. im afraid of being greedy..
but somehow.. i feel that im giving up on u.. giving up and changing lane.. maybe it's time..
that i'm finally ready to give up.. and remember it as one of the good memories i had..
hopefully.. well.. at least i hope.. i dun hesitate.. or doubt my decision..

here is Omens of Love that is popularise by T-Square.

hahas.. the reason to update the blog this time round is becoz.... AIDEN..
hahahas.. sad! i didnt take pict of him... lols.. aiden is a really cute kid...

i took part in AOC Christmas Kid Party as elves and took care of the kids from aged 3-10..
hahas.. we planned out lots of activity for them and of course lots of SWEETS and PRESENTS! here's a picture of the elves... Melanie, Jade, Leeflyn, Rebecca, Jasmine, Mii and Wayne..


aiden was the first kid that came in. He came in with his grandpa and mum. and since he came early (not tat early - just that other kids are late), we keep bringing him to the pantry to eat and drink.. it took mii hours later to realise that he's an active kid and colouring is just not his thing.. he was super quiet wen i was doing colouring with him.. so the other elves decided to take him to other activities and i continue sitting at the cards side and do colouring with other kids such as Tom, Lily, Alexia and Audi.. Samantha, a beautiful and cute lil gal (youngest) joined in later.. hahahs.. i enjoyed audi company coz he speaks malay with mii.. well, at least he interacted with mii wen we doing colouring.. unlike aiden.. lols.. but.. hahahahas..

i cant believe a simple paper aeroplane could bond mii and aiden well.. hehehe.. aiden dun take part in group activities at all.. hahahas.. During pass the parcel game, he keep asking his mum why are we laughing.. LOLS.. so cute.. during musical chairs, he got scared when the kids are all running around and keep himself to his mum.. hahahas.. den wen i decided to play with him - paper aeroplane, he really enjoyed it to the max.. but it also drain out my energy running around.. hahahas.. we played that for hours and both of us really got tired.. the funny thing is.. he pulled my hand and told mii he wanted to sit down.. den he taught mii how to exit the social space using the glass door.. after he sat down.. he told mii he wants some drink... i dunno what drink to give him and he taught mii to take his drink from his bag.. hahahas.. so cute la he.. i really love it wherever he pulled my hands.. ahahas..

the kids did the last activity and again aiden is in his own world and dun wanna join the rest.. he keeps playing with his green aeroplane and keep looking for mii.. hahas.. there was a point of time where i went to the toilet and took drinks, he actually found mii in the wet pantry.. he was asking mii, where i go.. hahahas... so cute la.. he's my new son already la.. hahahas.. when it's finally 5pm, all of us started to pack up slowly while waiting for their parents to pick them up.. sadly, aiden mum was the last.. so in order to distract him, i pulled him to the corner and played with him.. hahahas.. and the best things about him is that, he likes to give things to other ppl.. hahahs.. he gave everyone one oreo and wen i passed one back to him, he replied mii, i dun wan.. lols.. hi-5! i dun like oreo also! hahahas.. aiden also like to hug ppl.. wherever i stop playing, he would look for mii and hug my leg.. so lovely rite~ he also adores wayne.. hu always play with him.. hahahaha.

den wen his mum came back, he was really happie.. and pulled his mum to play with mii.. but when his mum said let's go back.. he started crying, lay down on the floor and say i wan to play.. lols.. wat's funnie is tat.. he went to grab mii and cry.. hahahs.. so in order to make him stop crying, decided to play again with him.. LOLS.. when he finally happie again.. his mum managed to make him wanna go home.. hahahas.. this time round, im the one hu feels like crying.. hahahas. sad... he pulled my hand and give mii a hug.. hahas.. and that's not it.. he even gave mii a kiss.. weeee.... lols.. his mum told him to do the same for the rest.. hahahas.. and he did tat to wayne.. and not the others... LOLS! im in cloud 9!~ hahahahhas.. cute him..

i regret the most tat i didnt take pict with him.. i think there's only one pict of him and mii and the rest.. i was drinkig and i last min jumped in.. tat's the only pict.. and im like so gonna search high and low for it..hahahahas..

on the day itself, most of them finally realised tat im an intern.. hahhas.. almost faint wen the kids call mii auntie.. hahahas.. call mii sister!! hahahas.. aiden call mii jie jie/auntie.. hahahas.. and i also crack up wherever auntie brings milo in.. i keep saying i wan milo.. and auntie totally ignores mii.. hehehehe

okie.. enuf of aiden.. hahahas.. i hope to see him again.. but still.. enuf.. hahahs
happy moments in.. ever since nez is back.. the team is more lively! hahas..
i laughed at least once a day - nez totally cracked mii up everyday..
seeing how she and chris always argue and play and joke around everyday.. hahahas..
there would be at least ONE TEAM chatting session per day - rocking ones.. hahahas..
fun fun fun! but again.. SAD! it's end of the year season and all going back to celebrate xmas! hahahas... team dinner was fun! the place was noisy.. so we tend to shout out.. hahahs.. i think it was super fun laughing to the max.. hahahahs.. we are bonded now! hahahas.. hype hype!

and im getting closer to NP interns.. enjoyed chatting with edwin and shawn!~ woohoo..
terry.. maybe some other time when there are chances.. hahahas.. there are some that really CMI la.. like super dao.. but some are really nice and down to earth and nice to talk to.. weee..

zion will be sitting beside mii from jan 4 onwards.. den after tat, opp nez.. hahahas.. the team getting more and more happening.. woohoo!~ i still havent got the full team pict! hahahas.. I DUN CARE.. once my internship ends, we must have one full team pict! hahahas. which reminds mii... 2 more months... 3 months has been gone.. time will fly very fast this point onwards..

RAWR! someone call mii christmas tree on friday morning! YOU WORE GREEN ALSO! zzzzzzzzz...

You're Beautiful OST - Without a Words - Park Shin Hye Version.
There's like 9th Street version and Jang Geun Seok Version. And I'm lovin all the version.. and the whole OST, still rocking in my head despite the drama had ended for quite some time now..

okie.. quick update on my bday celebration.. LOLS
on my bday itself, yes, spent the whole day with syakira and amirah.. hahahas
i dunno y.. but we never got bored with each other..
everytime we meet each time, time always run out on us! hahahas.

den at night, decided to rest at home and chat chat.. notably with panha.. LOLS.
thanks ar.. chat wif u but then u forget my bday.. hahas.

i purposely keep myself awake till 2359 coz im waiting for someone's wish..
but well, wat to do, although i had zero expectation, i still hoping for it..
but im still thankful for whatever i have..

on the 6th dec... i went out to see my dearie niece over at my sis in law house - JURONG!
hahas.. before going there, i had a little fall before entering the car.. hahahas..
my 2nd brother reaction - "anyone heard the sound of someone fell?"
my 3rd brother reaction - "i only saw u standing up.. DID U EVEN FALL?"
my mum reaction - "EHHHHH! young ppl fall down can stand up easily.. UNLIKE mii, i would sit there and cannot stand up anymore."
walau.. coz of my mum's scream, the whole world like noe i fall la! EMBARRASSING can! RAWR

den reached there liao.. i held my niece again.. I TOTALLY dun understand guys at all.. wat's wrong with carrying a little baby.. it's like damn light wat.. hahahas.. my niece like getting cuter la! HAHAHAS. and the thing i can never understand.. wherever i hold her, she would fall ASLEEP full force.. hahas.. im now called dullop pillow for her.. hahahas..
den during evening, my bro send mii over to PP to meet nicole.. thanks la.. save mii the trouble of travelling so far.. hahahas...

today.. RAWR..
this morning.. already rushing to work.. i wanted to meet nicole at mrt.. FAIL la..
den at the lobby lift, i nearly trip.. den i tore my pants - the bottom part.. LOLS.. damn embarrassing la.. hahahas.. something is totally wrong with mii today..
after that, go pantry, wanying accidentally spill soap on mii. but still NOT so bad.. hahhas. wen i sit down at my desk, I SPILL my TEA! rawr! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MII TODAY! RAWR! nth goes right.. nth goes okie.. RAWR! my bro ask mii to go for flower bath.. TSK! dun curse la!~

xmas bazaar.. wah damn shag la.. i totally no creativity.. ZERO! ZERO! thanked god got nicole.. she helped miii most of the time.. thankful to my dept for being understanding and supportive... TOTALLY NOOB! thanks sikai, zhiyuan and nicole for helping the setting up.. hahas.. i had more fun setting up la!~ funnie sia..

and just minutes ago.. huanyi come back singapore liao! WAT THE HECK! i tot next mon! hahaha.. sadded.. didnt fetch her la.. i also feel so damn shag today.. haiz.. sad sad sad.. nvm.. let's meet for lunch soooon!~

tat's all for mii to say? hahahahas.
and for HL - great that things went back to normal.. though im sad.. im still glad.. and FYI, i think we got closer wherever we quarrel.. but pls, i dun wanna quarrel with u alreadi!~ time is running out.. and i just wanna treasure the time together..

this year bday celebration was definitely wonderful with many ppl celebrating with mii~ woohoo..

01 dec.
this was the first advance celebration.
mii, jasmine chow and lim with valerie went to marina square to eat pizza @ pizza hut.
hahas.. i already knew that the purpose of meeting is to celebrate my bday however i didnt expect it to be so grand.. ahahas.. thanks guys!
the first 2 happie birthdae song honestly dissappoint mii but u guys didnt dissappoint me at all since the 3rd song is for mii!! hehehe.

and the cam whoring and wishing ball thingy at esplanade was really wonderful!~ HAD lots of laughter.. thanks la.. ahahahas

03 dec...
thanks ar vale.. nicce surprise..
the interns celebrated my bday 2 days in advance.. Y? coz they wan to surprise mii.. LOL
sorrie to sikai for being the victim of being smacked! hahahas.. they sooo funnie la..
i tot they would celebrate my bday on fri instead of thurs.. LOLS.
nicole called miii over to their seat coz sikai keep bugging her.. so i went there la..
JUST TO SMACK sikai.. LOLS.. den wen i went over, smart ar guys, went to take my cam and lighter from my bag.. LOLS.. i was pulled to the toilet.. NICOLE, u damn good actress! DAMN GOOD.. den finally we decided to go pantry and slack.. i GOT shocked.. i saw a cake..
still in disbelief, they told mii they celebrating other ppl bday.. n I REALLY BELIEVE u guys.. LOLS.. and thanks hor... huever hu contributed the idea of mii pulling the candle holder!~ damn disgusting can.. but i hope u guys enjoy it..

04 dec..
here comes another surprise.. due to sharleen going Japan, wishful thinking mii tot tat they would celebrate on 3rd rather than 4th.. so on the 4th, i have ZERO expectation liao.. LOLS..
but well.. the team celebrated for mii as well!~ hahahahas.. was really shocked and happie la... LOLS... chris was asking mii to turn over in a hurried tone.. and i tot i did something wrong.. and then there they go singing bday song to mii.. never expect the team to noe my bday la.. hahahas.. almost cried.. coz my expectations all turn haywire..

one surprise after another.. start off with joanne bday present after lunch.. followed by bbt on my table and then my team giving mii present.. i was really caught by surprised... and the bday card makes mii cry can.. the whole team had signed it despite only 3 of them in Singapore. this shows that they knew it way in advance liao.. ahahahas..

den wen i go home.. embarrassing moment happen in the train.. thanks sikai for saving mii.. LOLS..

reach home, i see my mum only.. I TOT GOT FAMILY DINNER? lols..
just to be surprised by another bday cake in front of mii.. hahahs.
this time round, only my third brother is able to make it.. the other 2 elder brother got work... sadly.. however, they brought my cousin's kids home thus it's more merrier.. hahahas.

all these are advance lei.. the actually day has yet to come.. had blown candles 3 times.. eat cake 3 times.. and celebrated 4 times.. definitely a happening bday celebration for mii this year..

very thankful and grateful to those hu remembered my bday.. celebrated my bday.. A VERY BIG THANK YOU! im soo happie.. although there's no big celebration, these small events really touches my heart! (:

actually, im having depressing moments as well.. however, i shall not spoilt this post! hahahas!
now im looking forward to our double celebration tmr with my BFF - amirah and syakira! and sunday!!! will be meeting my dearie niece arrysa!~

god bless! (: take care! (:

PS thanks for forgiving mii but i still feels guilty.. cant forget ur stare.. but it's a lesson learnt.. and as adviced, it was a honest mistake.. i shall repent on my mistakes and be a better person..

hahas! today is Amirah's birthday! hahahas.. happie birthdae babe! LOLS
as usual, her bday celebration will always be pushed back together as mine.
this year, the plan will be the same where we'll be meeting each other this coming saturday. (:

weekends are simply the best day since it's the day where i can rest the most! woohoo!
but then, today.. i went out with zhiyuan to shop for chritmas bazaar booth..
wah.. it was a long journey walking around but i think it's quite fun! (:
thanks zy for willing to accompany mii.. HAHAS!

we went to PS den to Bugis Junction.. hahahas.
we did our fair share of shopping as well.. TILL I FORGOT to buy my book! LOLS

and woohoo! i managed to go to dorothy p. to buy jeans! YAY! hahahas..
very happie coz i managed to get 2 jeans at an offer price and i got the $5 voucher.. hahahas.
another happie thing is i managed to eat my ice monster after sooo long.. weee! (:

after hours of shopping, totally not my cup of tea, i dragged my feet home!
go home just to see julian, fakhrudin and johann spamming on facebook! LOLS
they always make mii feels like organising an outing.. hehehe..

and mr chang, rawr! randomly tok to mii today.. and still dare to say he wanna vomit blood! hahahas. mr chang, u r as funnie as ever.. hahahas.. my fav. form teacher la u! hehe! xD

and now here i am sitting at home watching tv... with my bros.. lols..
at some point of time, i feel soooooooooo emo.. hahas.
so in order to entertain myself, i keep listening to this song..
hope it makes ur day as well! (:

this song is from You're Beautiful OST - A song for a Fool - Park Sang Woo
this song really reflects how i feel right now.. hehehehe! (: