LOVE & FEELINGS

hahas! today is Amirah's birthday! hahahas.. happie birthdae babe! LOLS
as usual, her bday celebration will always be pushed back together as mine.
this year, the plan will be the same where we'll be meeting each other this coming saturday. (:

weekends are simply the best day since it's the day where i can rest the most! woohoo!
but then, today.. i went out with zhiyuan to shop for chritmas bazaar booth..
wah.. it was a long journey walking around but i think it's quite fun! (:
thanks zy for willing to accompany mii.. HAHAS!

we went to PS den to Bugis Junction.. hahahas.
we did our fair share of shopping as well.. TILL I FORGOT to buy my book! LOLS

and woohoo! i managed to go to dorothy p. to buy jeans! YAY! hahahas..
very happie coz i managed to get 2 jeans at an offer price and i got the $5 voucher.. hahahas.
another happie thing is i managed to eat my ice monster after sooo long.. weee! (:

after hours of shopping, totally not my cup of tea, i dragged my feet home!
go home just to see julian, fakhrudin and johann spamming on facebook! LOLS
they always make mii feels like organising an outing.. hehehe..

and mr chang, rawr! randomly tok to mii today.. and still dare to say he wanna vomit blood! hahahas. mr chang, u r as funnie as ever.. hahahas.. my fav. form teacher la u! hehe! xD

and now here i am sitting at home watching tv... with my bros.. lols..
at some point of time, i feel soooooooooo emo.. hahas.
so in order to entertain myself, i keep listening to this song..
hope it makes ur day as well! (:

this song is from You're Beautiful OST - A song for a Fool - Park Sang Woo
this song really reflects how i feel right now.. hehehehe! (:

thanks ardy.. u make mii feels like blogging again..
not just that.. i change my layout as well... thanks to michael.. LOLS! =X

ever since i broke up, i feel more curious on how ppl are after they broke up..
coz i myself is confuse how i should react.
and what i had been doing is according to my instinct... which might or might not be right...
one thing for sure, i need some time to heal from u..

today is Hari Raya Haji! lols.. 27 Nov 09..
nothing much.. my baby niece came over! YAY! her name is Arrysa Haiza anyway..
we call her arry.. hehehe.. sounds like hari rite.. but it doesnt matter coz no1 call mii tat at home..
my cousins came over as well.. hahahas. it's like HARI RAYA already la..

how's life been so far?
hmmmm.. busy with attachment.
i definitely learning sooo many things.. about life, reality, work and relationships.. hahahas
i love this line - it's not good to be popular in the corporate world - i totally agree..
im facing the music right now.. sometime it's good... sometimes it's not..
but im really grateful to some ppl for teaching mii lots of things..
im just seeing part of reality.. there's more to come.. haiz..

with attachment going on, i felt as if i've lost my social life.
felt lonely many times.. no bf, no social life.. nothing.
im down with colleagues, interns, BFF and family,
im grateful that at least there's still someone there..
though i sometimes wish for more..

toking about interns..
there is someone in there who never fails to make mii think twice..
there is someone in there who never fails to make mii laugh..
there is someone in there who never fails to be there for mii..
there is someone in there who never fails to entertain mii..
there is someone in there who never fails to teach mii new things..
there is someone in there who never fails to accompany mii..
there is someone in there who never fails to help mii..
there is someone in there who never fails to impress mii..
there is someone in there who never fails to make mii curious..
there is someone in there who never fails to make my heart beats fast... heeeee (:

each someone represent the ppl im closed with.. hahahas. INTERNS... TP... lols
wat's challenging in there is that, i really realli reallie wish that i can do better everytime..
i dunno if that's called greed.. haiz..

i spend some time to day reading my old blog and realised that i sometime quote many nice phrase.. LOLS.. i feel like rewriting some of them.. but dun waste time la.. i shall share a new one now..

"I couldn't confess it even once.. but I think I've been rejected about a hundred times.. XOXO"

here's a video to share..
it's from the You're Beautiful drama... What should I do - Jang Geun Seok version..

hahas. there's nothing much for mii to update here.
had not been feeling well and i know well enuf why is it so.
emotionally tired. physically tired. mentally tired.

nowadays, i dun seem to be able to sleep.
everytime im alone, i kept thinking of him.
as i tot of him, there are smiles.. there are tears.
the time we spent together. it's really regretful.
being the one saying the last words, it makes mii wonder alot.
did i do the right thing. or did i made a mistake?
should i had waited or should i had given him more chance?
but at this point of time, i just felt that the result will still be the same.
i can't trust him anymore. i can't be confortable wif him anymore.

at the same time, haiz.. let's juz keep this silent..
i'm just not sure. i'm just dunno. i'm just clueless.

wah.. the last time i blogged! hahas.

quite update in between the late blog and now..
1) MP Groupings
my group consists of myself, joanne, jay and geetha. we did an internal MP for VTB Capital.
it was a bittersweet experience. well, i dun wan to go further about this!

2) Huanyi Fly Off
yeah.. she left singapore! lols.. leave mii alone here! lols..
ur absence r felt and i really look forward to ur vacation! (:

3) SIP (attachment)
i had been attached to RBS - Royal Bank of Scotland - in Singapore Change Management Dept.
been there for 3 weeks now and i really like it alot there.
cant say much bout work however it was really great to be there!
i like my team member alot too, despite being busy all the time, hahas!
love the ppl attach there too! joanne, yizhi, alvin lim, alvin tan, valerie, ronald, caixue, zhi yuan, nicole, si kai.. not forgetting the orq ppl - nicholas, wei choy and wan ying. AND MYSELF of course. haahas.

4) Hari Raya!
lols.. i still havent really go out with my frens! no time.. weekdays totally off due to attachment. so now down with weekends only. haiz. i hope we manage to go out together this year! BUDAK SHAZRA!~ hahas. (photos to be uploaded soon!)


well.. i dunno.. im random keep listening to Goodbye from Air Supply.
i know the reason well y.. and i juz keep humming to that song. especially the chorus.

"..you would never ask me why. my heart is so disguised. i just can't live a lie anymore. i would rather hurt myself. than to ever make you cry. there's nothing left to say. but goodbye.."

and to add on to the broken heart, this song really reflects my feelings. in a way or another...

recently, things hasnt been very good to mii..
being lied to and i still cant believe it..
MP groupings is out..
what is this feeling?
sad? shocked? angry? unhappy?
well.. it's all mixed up.. so wat does it make up?
goodness.. is this really the way out?

10 weeks of major proj.. 10 weeks...
although it's my idea.. i dunno how to do this man..
i dunno how to start.. i dunno to end this..

i dunno.. im really tired now..
after netball game, i just dun wanna think of anything..
tmr AYG... haiz.. the mood juz sink down..

PS pick up my call pls.. i need u the most now..

well.. i didnt update for quite some time.. hahas..
more than 2 weeks? lols.. i also dunno..
despite having a 2 weeks holiday, which i was supposed to enjoy it till i drop dead..
my 2 weeks for filled with so many things.. but no doubt, i still did get some rest..

right after the WEM paper on friday, i straight away went back to my village for my cousin or relatives wedding.. someone close la.. hahas..
many things happen there.. for example, i reach at 7pm-8pm like tat la..
and i didnt expect to do anything, once i'd reached.. so i wore really slack.. like how i normally do in Singapore.. but bad idea.. coz i was told to take part in some kind of religious reading la..
since it's religious, it's obvious i SHOULD be fully covered la.. but i tot, it doesnt matter much and just join in.. just to feel awkward being looked at by the olds and the youngs.. but hu cares, the mandatory thing is tt im contributing to the readings.. lols..

and i was super surprised.. i didnt expect syafiq parent to build the house right next to mine.. it was like... even much closer than neightbours.. on the second floor, i can see wat he doing and he can see wat im doing.. but hu cares la.. we met for like one day and tat's it.. and abt the house thing, im not gonna live there.. so it doesnt affect mii much.. hahas..

back in Singapore, my 2 weeks was full with AYG trainings and duties, competition proposal meet-ups and of course OUTING!~ i had outings with shuxian and gang, say haow and cheemeng, and many more la. hehe..

AYG for fun to a certain extent.. juz dun like the fact tt i kena 3 weeks duty +++ everyday.. even after requesting for change twice, they still reject mii.. now they deserve it.. thanks to my competition, i cant contribute much.. hahas..

speaking of competition, finally submitted it last sat.. and the result is this week if im not wrong.. hahas.. deep down in my heart, i felt guilty towards ronald.. coz he really need to do lots of work.. not just his part, but for my part as well.. coz it's like, im busy with AYG, and he really didnt complain much and help mii out all the way.. den as for my part, he always need to look thru and read thru again to correct my grammar errors and all.. im really grateful to him for being my partner.. and yes, i owe him lots of drinks and starbuck it is.. hahas.. so competition, it's over (maybe).. why maybe? coz im hoping to go at least top 6..

and this week is the first week of school.. and im supposed to go back sch tmr for SIP briefing, photo taking and maybe MP briefing.. not looking forward for school yet i need to put in all effort from now on.. haiz.. it's MAJOR PROJECT for GOODNESS SAKE and i SWEAR im regretting my PROPOSAL NOW.. and i wonder who will be in my GROUP!~ i dun wanna suffer like RISK again.. once is enough.. so.. yeap.. holiday is OVER!~

feel sorrie for 2Cube.. i promised an outing with them during the holidays but i didnt manage to organise nor attend any(if there is one)... hope to organise one soon during the weekend to make up for it.. hoping and i wun promise.. coz i dun wan to break tt promise..

and here i am in Singapore alone.. coz my family go LANGKAWI without mii.. it sux coz the holiday timing is different.. haiz.. but okie la.. FREEDOM!~ can go home, can dont go home.. but then.. wen im alone.. i sleep earlier than i usually do, i go out less and i go home early.. hahas.. but i wun be spending tonite home.. hehe.. (:

okie la. i've finally update my blog.. and i finally stop my certain habit..
and i finally declare.. it's over between us.. hahas.. i manage to overcome tt habit..
and yes.. NAPFA is coming.. i dunno whether i wanna pass it or fail it.. hahas..
and as some of u may noe, i injured my leg recently..
wah.. the scar, so big!!!~ can cry okie!~ haiz..

i didnt update for quite some time.. hahas..
it's been the most tiring week (as the blog title had stated so!~ lols)
last weekend, been chionging assignment.. haiz..
monday, i had WEM presentation.. haiz..
okie la.. nothing much to comment.. hope mr chew is nice enuf.. to give higher marks.. lols...

den chionging RISK presentation till 1am in skool..
together with atiqah and wang ying..
all of these must thanks to freaking someone.. i shall not comment much abt tt person la..
coz with my current temper, i might juz throw things at anyone at anytime.. lols..
just some few things to say..
if u have at least some sense of responsibility, u wudnt do so..
if u can even do tt to ur gd frens & classmates, im really speechless..
u have just been someone whom i wanna work with the least!!!

tuesday, risk presentation.. although difficult, it was fun afterall..
it also marks my last presentation for the sem.. i guess.. lols..
with all those late nites.. lack of sleep..
i finally give myself a good sleep on wednesday..
and at tt night, i start chionging for RISK test..
haiz.. i juz blank during the test..
no confidence in passing.. haiz..

and finally again.. i finally rest!!!
gonna have another test next week.. WEM last test..
den im sort of free from all those studying..
"sort of" hahas.. coz i still got the competition..
which im determined to do well..
and also.. i might consider joining another competition..
which is outside school competition..
im still considering it.. so i dunno yet la..

so im gonna have a very good rest this weekend..
yes yes yes.. hahas..

omg omg omg!
i was totally happie wen i saw this video..
and i was sort of in tears of joy and too happie to be true..
this just makes my day.. and im gonna use this happie mood to chiong my assignment for tmr's submission.. hahas..

it was such a nice sight to see the G.O.D members singing along wif Kim Tae Woo...
this just makes mii really really really hope tt they would reunite very soon..
they are my turning point man..
they are the ones who makes mii love korean entertainments and songs..
they are my first fav. korean band and it was a long wait..
i've loved them from late 2004.. and i've waited for their reunion for years man..
although joon is not in korea.. he still participate in the MV from LA..
btw, Joon is Yumcha in Speed Racer.. hahas!

a small corner in my heart hopes tt Yoon Kye Sang would be there..
guess he really gave up singing.. TT^TT
seeing them really makes mii remember all those old songs.. hahas..
and how they had changed.. wow wow wow wow..
i noe this is exaggerating.. but they just ROX!~
DANNY AHN, SON HO YOUNG, PARK JOON HYUNG, KIM TAE WOO & YOON KYE SANG LOVES!~
G.O.D FOREVER!~

yup!~ just to share the loves wif my sky blue frens forum peeps!~
Groove Over Dose loves!~

i didnt update for quite some time.. lols..
y? coz i wanna let ppl see WHO to vote.. lols..
tmr is the last day of voting.. it ALMOST slipped off my mind..
and yup! (: voted! lols..

the weird thing is.. as i was voting.. somehow..
my heart beat very fast.. lols.. yeah.. it's weird..
even my hand shakes... i cant explain y.. but it's juz happen..
well.. im wondering too..

nowadays.. i've been having lack of sleep!!!
3hrs of sleep everyday.. damn it lei..
always chiong-ing 3am onwards.. den morning go school.. T^T
im really putting in lots of effort for risk...
y am i so unlucky to suffer from loss of data from my lappie..?!!!!
now i juz have to continue to use my sis-in-law's lappie for the time being..
while im waiting for my next pay to buy new lappie.. or juz continue to depend on my desktop..

i got alot of things to buy nowadays. .
more formal clothes.. new phone.. new lappie.. new shoes... RAAWWWR!
patience hari.. u'll have tat chances soon.. very sooooon..

i've been feeling tt something is missing nowadays..
y? i just feel like i have to talk to someone.. but who?
as i was browsing the phone, wen i tink i shud tok to this person..
i tot to myself, maybe i shudnt..
and to those tat i can tok to, i tot, maybe i shudnt...
WHO CAN I TOK TO? haiz..
i just wanna tok to u..

anyway... congrats to my seniors (my course first batch lei!!!) for graduating!!! hahas..
and i hope syakira is getting better for her heartbreak.. and amirah... rest well! (:

now.. i just need to surpass this week and next week..
den im back to normal..
sorrie guys for MIA-ing.. well..
this is just so expected..

i very the lazy to upload photos today...
i've been very lazy nowadays.. so pardon mii..
once i've restored all my energy back, i'll be very HIGH again..

yesterday.. hmm.. it's like a "nth-much" day to mii..
so i very quiet... very serious in ttl.. and juz dun smile or laugh like usual..
so while eating at Design school canteen yesterday... jasmine c. keep saying...
"y so emo?" "today i feel like i dunno u" "today u very different" =X
"u very random & happie go lucky.. y nowadays u change?"
even others say.. i smile less.. u____u
always HIGH & happie, why today so down... TT^TT

sth serious is happening to mii... very serious..
i feel sad all the time.. i feel confused all the time..
with other pressures like school work and all.. i feel like my life is seriously WRONG!
it initially started as a JOKE!~ y am i feeling the pressure??

to wtf guy.. i tot we choosen the path to be frens?
but y do i feel even our frenship is drifting apart?
i am trying very very hard.. and i can juz lose it at any moment..

i dunno already.. im seriously at my wits end..
i cant take anymore initiative.. and im tired.. extremely tired..
i'll just MIA from now on.. MIA for good..
afterall, few more mths and im gone for SIP..

i'll just seek solace in other things.. like stage management, music, netball etc...
u know how i was looking forward for tmr's netball practice?!
and now i juz realise i can't go tmr... WEM test.. TT^TT
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!! damn it..

i've planned my schedule.. to make mii extremely busy...
just like amirah say... being busy will make u forget things faster..
and yeah.. hopefully it works for mii.. although i doubt so..
but i will put in all the effort.. till i'm prepared and ready to say...
I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Personal Notes
wah.. election is coming up..
for TPSU, i noe who to vote already...
but for IITSC.. this is the very confusing part!!
i have sooooo many ppl tat i wanna vote... lols..
but i will only vote for 2.. and only 2... i need to be impartial and calm..
i cant believe tt i saw ppl hu cannot run still run for main comm..
good luck man.. i definitely didnt anticipate it as much as i did last year..
for those who dunno hu to vote for, can ask mii! (:

this is my 2nd night chiong-ing project..
the night is the time only time i could do my project..
24 hrs = day + night..
day go skool, study and socialise..
night at home, study and do proj...
where's my sleep??? lols..

RISKS assignment topic one..
New Zealand added up together 400++ pages..
Hong Kong add up is 300++ pages..
Singapore - CAR (580) + Basel 2 (300++) + etc = 1000++ pages!!!
this is the amount that i'd read or gg to read in few days.. -_-'''
last night chiong draft 1... horrible..
now, chiong draft 2 to show in the afternoon.. i GG liao.. lols

past few day.... no msn..... no dramas......... no video..........
facebook still got abit... lols.. but really..... i didnt touch these for days!~
i felt empty somewhere.. hahas..

my busy-ness come at the right time? i dunno..
maybe, by being busy i will forget things faster?
but at the same time, i dun wan to lose the frenship between us..
maybe, i juz have to be normal.. and juz exclude those feelings..
like how i can spend 30 mins trying to sleep and tat 30mins is full of you.. lols..
knowing tat i ONLY have 3 hrs to sleep, it still take mii so long to sleep..
wen i was finally falling asleep, i was awaken by someone else's calls.. haiz..

let's just stay as frens.. and just keep myself busy...

PS: Congrats Say Haow for FINALLY passing ur DRIVING TEST..
no worries.. i wun SIT in the CAR if u r driving.. UNLESS someone there to accompany mii.. LOLS =X kidding larh!~ u owe mii & chee meng jap food!!! lalalala!~

It's funny how someone can break your heart... And you can still love them with all the pieces..

Dear Heart, I met a Boy... Prepare to Shatter. XOXO

I wondered if I was making a mistake...

What happens when he's your prince charming but you're not his Cinderella??

I guess I'm a fool for thinking that you're thinking of me...

Moving on is simple... It's what you leave behind tha tmakes it so difficult...

I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles... And the one that could always brighten your day even if she couldn't brighten her own..

You can soften the blow, but you can't stop the sting...

To the world, you may be one person. But to me, you are the world...

Everytime we talk, my heart skips a beat...

Telling me to stop loving him is like telling me to stop breathing..

I know you're going to go places.. and do great things...I just wish you had taken me with you.

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

[PS: thanks syak.. u just make mii EMO by just watching the video... LOLS]

lols.. okie.. i had a tiring day.. but i think it's very the worth it!
somehow, i develop an interest in photography & nature!~ LOLS
it's like every little things i see, i also wanna take..
lols.. it's like my pri.sch BFF project larh!~ hahas..

i'll try to post very little today.. lols
we started from Raffle Place MRT..
down there not much larh~ but then sth interesting was gg on there.. lols
we saw a bunch of ppl filming larh~ hahas.. very the interesting..
so we tot it's was for the Vasantham channel.. no offense la.. but the majority at the BTS was indian.. so we ignore it la and continue taking picts..
den somehow, wen we were taking pict of certain leaves, someone approached us and asked us these [in malay]:-
she: u all taking picture isit?
me: yeah..
she: taking picture of what?
me: plants?
she: chey.. i tot u all taking pict of the stars..

so she told us abt the stars.. lols.. it's BOLLYWOOD stars larh!~ LOLS!
she told us there were Akshay Kumar and Sunil Shetty.. lols. i noe them but still.. not a fan..
she was telling us how much she wanted to take pict with them to the extend that she went to tok to the director and the security guys.. lols.. pls la.. we like sooo NOT interested can? LOLS
PS: sunil shetty looks better in real life larh!~ =X

den we proceed to Tanjong Pagar.. lols.. down there quite nice.. and HOT!~
walk ard alot already till we almost drained out.. lols..
HOW TO FIND 7 species in a single place? lols!~
u noe how lucky we were? we went to a Shopping Mall and saw this place.. wah.. damn nice.
but we had to climbed (sneakily) to take those nice picts..

next stop was Braddell, Toa Payoh Spring..
initially, we tot it was a wasted trip.. as we cudnt see anything nice there..
but we decided to walk further in to try our luck.. lols
yeah.. we saw a whole bunch of leaves and ferns.. many species.. lols..

the final destination was at Dhoby Ghaut.. ahas..
nt bad larh!~ but by the time we reached there, we were totally drained out, exhausted & look quite shag liao..

we decided to have a relax trip back home.. so we took bus..
hahas!~ i had fun cam-whoring CANDID picts in the bus larh!~
it was totally unglam but we had FUN laughing!~ lols..
reached SingPost, we had delifrance for dinner..
and had a wonderful chat again!~

it's like, mii & Hafizah had been best frens since pri. school.. lols..
although she was like abit tom-boyish back then & always disturb mii, we were still CLOSE till now.. we had our fair share reminiscing the past! again!~ lols..
like how we used to disturb ppl.. more like how she used to disturb mii larh!~
we recalled every single classmates of us.. and wonders where & wat they doing now.. LOLS...
let's have a reunion soon.. we are apart for 6yrs over already!~ hahas..

pictures are uploaded at FB.. i lazy to upload here.. lols
Part 1 : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020044&id=1462447626&l=bbd0a7a3d7
Part 2 : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020045&id=1462447626&l=a990d0c9da
PS: part 2 is like our selca picts la.. nature picts are part 1.. lols
for the candid picts, must wait for Hafizah to upload it.. LOLS!~

I quoting this from Franky..
"Cinta hanyalah sebuah kata sampai seseorang datang dan memberinya arti"
Translation
"Love is just a word until some1 came in and give its meaning"

it's true i think..
to some, love is just or simply a word..
but to some, love has its own meaning and definition..
some says beautiful, some says sweet and many more..
so my dear, wat's ur definition?

it's a wonderful feeling that I dun regret experiencing..
a simple (: and Hi can make my day..
a missing sms can spoil my day..
my life is depending on all this?
Hari! go get a life?!

is it time for a change?
but do i even have the courage to make that changes?
waiting for you is like waiting for a drop of rain in a drought..
tat's just the reason y i hate 'waiting'..